How to badass-ify your resume

Between the super-saturated job market and your inability to expunge your DWAI off your record, finding a job these days is tough. That's why it's more important than ever to have a resume that stands out amongst the sea of CV clones. So, because we want you out of your grandma's guest room as much as you do, here's a few tips on how to badass-ify your resume.

Between the super-saturated job market and your inability to expunge your DWAI off your record, finding a job these days is tough. That's why it's more important than ever to have a resume that stands out amongst the sea of CV clones. So, because we want you out of your grandma's guest room as much as you do, here's a few tips on how to badass-ify your resume.

First, have a clear objective.

Make sure to reveal your skills.

Include your education level.

Always attach a good cover letter along with your resume.

Tell a little story about yourself.

Spell check or die.

Don't skimp on design. Colorful, creative design wil make your resume eye-catching.

In terms of formatting and organization, follow this template and you'll be golden.

Incorporate bribery whenever possible.

Draw attention to your tits – wait, we mean work experience.

If you've got video skills, use them!

Video allows you to show, not just tell, why you're the best man, woman, or androgynous droid for the job.

Plus, with video, it's easier to crack jokes and show a little personality so your future boss can see how well you'd fit in.

And lastly, make sure to show how you'd use your skillz in a real work setting, even if by "skillz" you mean rapidly-growing hair.

So, there you go! And best of luck with your Subway sandwich artist application.