When Alex Hamel discovered she lived within mere miles of a penis paradise, she knew she had to witness it. Nearby, in the small town of Samcheok, South Korea, awaited Haesindang Penis Park, where countless sculpted cocks were erected to celebrate the beloved boner.
“There are hundreds of penises,” Hamel tells us, “in all shapes, sizes, and forms.” She paints a grandiose image of penis-shaped pillars, big dick benches and wiener waterfalls. You can hear the reverence in her voice as she reflects on the visual splendor and rich history of this wonderland dedicated to wangs.
“The locals say there’s a big legend behind the penis park,” Hamel says. “Long ago, a young couple was soon to be married. But one day, as the woman was standing on the shore attempting to fish, a huge storm came in. Her fiance couldn’t save her in time, and the woman drowned a loveless virgin.”
“From then on,” Hamel continues, “suddenly none of the fisherman could catch any fish. They assumed it was a curse … Until one day, one fisherman got drunk on soju, a Korean rice liquor, and relieved himself [masturbated] into the sea. The next day, that man was unexpectedly able to catch fish again, and the fishermen realized that the loveless virgin needed phallic offerings, like giant wooden penises, to appease her spirit.”
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Although originally devoted to a sexually unsatisfied woman, the penis park remains today as a universal epicenter of pecker appreciation. Every spring season, the people of Samcheok hold a giant festival at the park as a public celebration of fertility and the penises that make it possible. The phallic festivities offer fun for the whole family, including children.
For more erotic artistry, a sculpture park known as “Love Land” on nearby Jeju Island tastefully displays dozens of different sex acts and positions. “They have vaginas there, too!” Hamel exclaims.
Despite the country’s creative tributes to coitus, however, the culture of South Korea is not necessarily more open about sex and sexuality than America is. “In Korean society, sex isn’t talked about at all. Based on my experience here, I’d expect that people would be outraged by these places. … But at the penis park, no one seems ashamed at all. They’re laughing, smiling, and taking pictures,” she says.
Admittedly, it’d be difficult not to document a day in this picturesque penis utopia. The park is ripe with photo opportunities, from riding the giant golden dick to straddling a stone schlong. No visitor would want to forget the sights and sounds of the ocean, the trees and the breeze as it passes through weiner-shaped wind chimes.
Inside the Penis Park, visitors can witness genitals in countless artistic forms, fostering a newfound adoration for all things dick. In the future, we’ll keep our fingers crossed for a possible female equivalent — the Pussy Park — to someday celebrate genitals all-inclusively.
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