"Lord, please give me back my dick. I'll be good. I promise …"

Drugs are hard to get, even legal ones. And if Louisville, KY Democratic state representative Mary Lou Marzian has her way, it's going to be a downright hassle for men to get their blue buddy fix in Viagra.

Which is exactly what she's after. To challenge the relative ease of getting a prescription for Erectile Dysfunction (in contrast to how invasive and humiliating it is for women to receive similar care), Marzian introduced House Bill 396 in Kentucky last week that would also "require men to make at least two visits to a doctor, present signed proof of permission from their wives and swear on the Bible that they are married and will use the drug only when having sex with their wives."

Sounds completely fucked, which it is … but that's kind of the point. Marzian is tired of men dabbling in women's issues and making it all but impossible for pregnancies to be handled on a personal level.

"The conservative movement sweeping Kentucky has put women in the cross hairs of its battle to take over government at all levels, and it's time we recognize this hypocrisy for what it is," Marzian — a retired nurse — writes in an op-ed in the Louisville Courier-Journal.

"The best I can hope is that House Bill 396 will galvanize women into saying 'enough is enough' to their governor, senator and state representative with phone calls, emails and protests to end this untenable legislative assault on women's bodies and minds," she continues.

This isn't the first time absurd gestures like this have been filed with authoritative committees. As reported by NBC News:

"State Rep. Mia McLeod filed a measure in the South Carolina House that would force men seeking erectile dysfunction drugs to present notarized proof from a sexual partner that they have the disorder. That bill remains in committee."

and …

"In 2012, Oklahoma state Sen. Constance Johnson filed an amendment to an anti-abortion bill that would have defined male masturbation as a waste of semen constituting a crime against unborn children."

Marzian says she knows the bill has no chance of passing, but that it's intended to open eyes to hypocrisy women face in searching for proper medical care in sensitive situations. If men were to feel the same kind of shame and embarrassment women do, they might think about the implications of some of the bullshit laws that go into effect that serve no other purpose than to appease out-dated ideology. Then again, something tells us that if men are so willing to throw their weight around enough to control others in abstract areas of humanity, they'd likely swear on the Bible and cheat in the same breath without an afterthought.

Jeebus is gonna be piiiiiissed …