If you haven't had your daily heart palpitation yet today, check out this crystal-clear footage of the insane Denver car-jacking that happened yesterday. Drug suspect Ryan Stone had the city breathing into paper bags and biting what's left of their nails after he stole three cars, one which contained a 4 year-old boy, and peeled off, leading the police on a high speed chase.

If you haven't had your daily heart palpitation yet today, check out this crystal-clear footage of the insane Denver car-jacking that happened yesterday. Drug suspect Ryan Stone had the city breathing into paper bags and biting what's left of their nails after he stole three cars, one which contained a 4 year-old boy, and peeled off, leading the police on a high speed chase.

Ryan initially stole a car from a gas station while the mother of the child was inside the station paying, and then took off down I-25, driving like a damn fool. He bumped into several cars along the way, scaring, but remarkably not injurying the boy.

He then jumped out, leaving the toddler to deal with police on his own, and car-jacked a minivan. After driving across a grassy bank, he headed the wrong way down I-76. You can see zoomed-in footage of Ryan tearing a woman from the third carjacked vehicle after which she decided to lunge after him. Do you need some Xanax?

Wow, apparently it's illegal in Colorado to hijack three cars in one day! Here we were thinking that was a normal thing people did while driving. But this whole thing made us wonder … what else is illegal in Colorado, other than having a little fun with unsuspecting motorists?

Here's what we found…

  • One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.
  • It is illegal to fight by agreement. You must disagree to be fighting.
  • A gallon of ice cream must weight at least 4.5 pounds, or else.
  • Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
  • It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3% ABV.
  • It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
  • Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses. Can you taste the freedom?
  • In  Alamosa, throwing missles at cars is illegal. Makes sense.
  • Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited..
  • In Arvada, establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them.
  • In Aspen catapults may not be fired at buildings.
  • In Boulder, it's illegal to permit one's llama to graze on city property. God damn it, where are they going to graze then?
  • In Boulder,  couches may not be placed on outside porches. Surely you've heard of our propensity for couch burning.
  • In Denver, the dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.
  • It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.