Here at Rooster, we'll eat just about anything. Which is why we wanted to sit down with one of our employees and grill her about her picky eating habits. It started out as a normal interview, then rapidly digressed into an argument about cheese, which is when we realized that we weren't interviewing just any picky eater…we were interviewing the pickiest eater ever.

So. You are a picky eater. What's that like?

There's a lot of things that I really don't like. I'll definitely try things once. Except for fish.

What is it about fish?

Everything about fish. The smell. The color. The taste. The aftertaste. The sound when you're eating it.

What about shrimp?

I'll eat shrimp on Christmas to make my grandma happy.

Fair enough. What else do you hate?

Olives, bananas, onions, peppers…I pretty much don't like anything.

Bananas? They’re like the most benign thing.

I hate bananas. I hate the smell, the texture, the mushiness…

Did you have some sort of scarring food experience?

I have a major fish phobia because one time we were fishing for muskies, which are like huge, scary fish, and I was fishing with my grandma. I was reelin' in a big fish and my grandma goes “OH MY GOD YOU CAUGHT A MUSKIE,” and I freaked out and threw my pole in the water.She luckily pulled it in, but it wasn't a muskie on the fishing line, it was just a Northern Pike. So, out of spite, and for hating this animal, I killed it, and my grandma fried it up and I ate some of it and got a fish bone stuck in my throat. I couldn't get it out. That was the last time I ate fish, except for when I was tricked into eating it. Fuck. I hate fish. I only wanted to kill it because I'm the bigger creature. I won that battle.

What do you like to eat?

Mac and cheese, breakfast burritos, bread bowls…I'm from the Midwest and my mom is so bland in her cooking so I don't have a lot of different tastes that I've acquired.

What’s your stance on cheese?

I LOVE CHEESE. Wanna hear my favorite Would-You-Rather-Question? Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?

Cheese, dude.

You'd give up cheese?

For sure.

But think about how many things have cheese on them. You're fine without cheese? [Seems distraught].

Would you give up normal sex for cheese?

Probably. Think of how often someone has cheese vs. how often someone has sex.

Well you can make anything without cheese, but you can't have sex without sex.

How are you ever going to have pizza? Or ravioli? Or tortellini?

Right. What do you want people to know about you?

Don't blame me. I'm trying to fix it. It's not something I just can overcome. People don’t just get over their fear of heights. I can't just open up my senses. Don't hate me because I'm picky. I love cheese.