Is calling someone a “Karen” considered a racial slur?

Uh… have you ever heard a racial slur? No. They aren’t the same at all. I will say this though, I know some really nice people named Karen so I never use it. It’s these “Courtney’s” that I have a real problem with!!!


Let’s say Covid or the vaccine morphs and it becomes an all out zombie apocalypse, you’re the last man standing … what’s your weapon of choice, destination and mode of transportation? 

Great question! 1) Shotgun with a katana sword welded to the barrel. 2) Nebraska. You ever driven through Nebraska? There’s no one there. 3) The Oscar Mayer Weiner-mobile. Any living being driving that barren wasteland that came across it would be like “How in the shit did the Weiner-mobile end up in Nebraska?!?”


I really want to go to the movies. Is it safe?

Who knows? But I do know you can rent out an entire theater for around a hundred bucks which is generally what it costs when I see a flick anyway so plunk down the cash, be safe and ball out!


I work from home and never leave. I’m putting on a lot of weight. How can I lose it while not being as active as I used to be?

Easy! Diarrhea! If you’ve ever read any side effects or testimonials of people on diets, diarrhea is always the common denominator. Cabbage soup, South Beach, Thrive… they’re all a shit show. So I guess the answer is, eat anything that has a similar effect. Get ready to wet-blast your way to a slender new you!


With everything going on, should we trust doctors?

Well, without getting political, if you break your leg who are you going to trust to fix it? A doctor? Or your uncle that wears jeans shorts when he swims? 


What do you think about goat yoga?

Well if Instagram has taught us anything, it’s that white women will literally do yoga, anytime, anywhere with anything, regardless of the circumstance. 


Does pineapple belong on pizza? 

I mean, if you’re buying I’ll eat it but I’m not pitching in on your tropical fruit pie! There are less annoying ways to prove you’re “unique” though I think. 


Mike Knows Best:

The Crown is a cool show if you just pretend it’s a Star Wars prequel about the empire before they figured out how to space travel.