For god's sake, don't be that guy.
Everyone hates flying. It might be super convenient, but it's basically a few hours of torture you need to endure to get to your destination.
It might terrible, but if everyone works together, we can get through this without losing our collective shit.
Luckily, one flight attendant, Nuralia Mazla, offered her tips on a thread on Quora when discussing rules on what not to do on a flight.
1. When boarding:
“Should you need to have your neck pillow, eye shades, books, ear plugs, ear phones, laptops, vanity kit etc please do so when everyone has settled down in their seats and not while there’s a long queue of passengers trying to get to their seats as well."
2. And again, when boarding…
“Don’t get aggressive with the crew members. Should you have a problem, ask politely."
“Boarding is the peak time where everyone is doing way too many things at one go."
3. When cruising
“Don’t block the aisle. The aisle needs to be clear of any obstructions at all times, to prevent any unforeseen injuries."
“Someone else could trip on your legs or bags and fall down."
4. Still cruising
“Don’t do anything immoral, please."
“Mile High Club? Pffft. An aircraft is not your private bedroom."
“Sir, I know you have to be somewhere. I know you need to be somewhere. I know you can see the seatbelt sign is still on. So why do you get up before it’s off?"
“I know you’re eager to exit the aircraft — me too (especially if this is my last sector). But were I to have an injured passenger on board their health would be in jeopardy now because this other passenger refuses to obey the regulations and instead chooses to be selfish."
Five simple rules, and everyone stays happy.
And more to the point — how could anyone have sex in the bathroom of an airplane? Not only is it tiny, but it's also possibly one of the most disgusting places in the entire world. No one shits on an airplane unless it's a "bad taco cart food" emergency, and if you can manage to get horny in a phone booth filled with toxic fart clouds and an impatient mother with a crying baby pounding on the door, you've got a hell of a lot more focus than we do.