Forget inventing an app. Vending machines are the new hustle.
It seems like everyday some person far younger than us is offered tens of millions of dollars for some app or tech start-up. Its ridiculous, but that's the way the world works now. We could never have made Snapchat or Periscope, so those dudes deserve the cash for making something useful. It's not like they decided to put Band-Aids in a vending machine and call it an invention like 14-year-old Taylor Rosenthal.
This smug little high school freshman recently turned down a $30 million dollar offer for his first aid kit vending machine. $30 million dollars.
This prepubescent child could have retired a multi-millionaire before he even got his first job. He could have had more money than James Franco (estimated net worth $20 million) without having to pretend to be Seth Rogen' BFFL in the process.
Couldn’t people just put packs of Band-Aids and first aid kits in normal vending machines and eliminate this kids entire hustle? Because it seems like they could. Very easily. Just take out the Fritos and Combos that have remained unsold in every vending machine for the past ten years and put a pack of Band-Aids in their place. Boom. Kids entire vending machine empire was just demolished.
Rosenthal says he came up with the idea when someone scrapped their knee during a baseball game and no one could find a Band-Aid. What's happened to kids? Who needs Band-Aids just throw some dirt on it and quit being a pansy. That’s what our dad would have told us to do and we've turned out just fine, even though we're writers — we certainly didn't grow up to be bitter adults or anything like that…
Here is his original pitch video once his little business was established.
Sweet rollercoaster green screen, Taylor. According to the video, the one advantage of this computerized vending machine has over your normal snack vending machine is that is that it prompts you to sign an electronic liability waiver so you can't sue Six Flags when you scrape your knee. Is that really a $30 million idea?
In the video, Rosenthal states that he's received an order for 100 machines from Six Flags and that his vending machines are "poised to be the biggest innovation in vending machines since RedBox.” As far as we know, RedBox is doing pretty damn awful right now. Who watches DVDs still? Regardless the real question we have is … what parents let their kid turn down $30 million?
If making a first aid kit vending machine is a $30 million idea, we figured we could break into the market ourselves. Our best ideas so far include a vending machine that sells other smaller vending machines for $1 million each, vending machines that sell nooses for people that want to hang themselves after hearing about Taylor Rosenthal's business, and vending machines that sell sweet bowling shirts like the one Taylor's rocking in his pitch video. Our $30 million offer should be rolling in any day now.