My publicist said my Instagram bio is super important and needs to be charming, but I’m not sure he’s right. Do people really follow people based on the bio? 
There are bios on Instagram? Huh…. I had no idea. I guess my answer would be, no. Everyone is just looking at butts and inspirational quotes. Which is why I’m combining the two and getting an inspirational quote tattooed on my ass. 'Try to be the rainbow in someone’s cloud.' Bout’ to be IG famous, ya’ll!

What sport would be the funniest to add a mandatory amount of alcohol to? 
Definitely the Biathlon. That’s the one that combines cross country skiing and skeet shooting.  That whole thing is a debacle to begin with. They should have to pound a 40 of Bud Ice at each checkpoint. I’m not a sports guy, but I’d watch that!

My wife changed her diet and now when we’re shopping she throws my items out of the cart. What do I do? 
Easy fix! Grab your own cart, insert your own items, pay with your own money, be your own person! See? That wasn’t that difficult.

Should my husband and I have a gender reveal party? 
Absolutely. Everyone is waiting with baited breath to know the gender of your baby. Songs will be written, statues will be sculpted, history will be made! Chew up a your friends weekend with a day time party to deliver information that could easily be given via text! People love that!
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MIKE KNOWS BEST

"It’s cool how the Papa Johns guy wakes up every morning like 'welp, I guess I’ll go ahead & put on a red Papa Johns short sleeve button up shirt again today because I’m a fucking psychopath.'