Life advice from comedian Mike Stanley. Take it for what it's worth.

 

At what age do women cross over to mom jeans if not a mom? Like I’m going on mid 30s so it’s prob almost time. Not sure I’m ready. Please advise.

I guess when you decide that being desirable isn’t something you care about anymore? High-wasted jeans? Are they called that because you have to be high or wasted to think they look good? HAHA! *rimshot!*  I’m kidding.  Wear whatever you want. I think as long as you’re comfortable you’re more well suited to just be yourself. Look, People wear onesies in the airport and mumble rappers are running around looking like walking trash cans. If high-wasted mom jeans suit you, have at lady and enjoy that long butt life!

I have two parents who both love me. Is it possible to become a funny/interesting/successful comedian?

I mean, there are comedians who were raised in a positive loving household … Those comics are terrible … But they do exist. I’d imagine most puppet acts were from an overtly supportive domicile of people telling them they’re great. No one does comedy because they’re happy. We just kinda end up here caught in the comedy colander on our inevitable spiral into sadness because our band didn’t work out, our art stunk, or we were incredibly unemployable. If my parents loved me, you wouldn’t see me out seeking validation from strangers on a nightly basis in horrible bars. I’d still live at home! Seriously, I’d be in their basement right now eating pizza rolls completely oblivious! That’s the life I want! 

How do you stop dating married men?

I’ve never been attracted to married men. Next question. 

Is a hot-dog a sandwich?

Holy shit. This kinda blew my mind a bit but the answer is no. A hot dog is hot dog. However, if you were to cram a bunch of lunch meat into a hot dog bun, that would be considered a sandwich. If you were to shave a hot dog down with a meat slicer, put it in said bun, that would also be a sandwich. Conversely, If you were to put a hot dog between two pieces of bread, that’s considered … poverty.