My partner and I would like to have a threesome. How do we plan it so everything goes smoothly?

My partner and I would like to have a threesome. How do we plan it so everything goes smoothly?

SexJuly 09, 2021

First, add “sexual wizard” to the list of titles in your email signature, because you have achieved a rare erotic exploit. Threesomes are Americans’ most popular sexual fantasy, but only a small proportion of us have actually managed to make that dream come true. Advanced planning is a wise choice. Because so many components can go terribly wrong, sexperts agree threesomes are the “sexual fantasy that’s least likely to turn out well.”

The most important factor to figure out is who to choose as your third. Chemistry among all partners is the best way to avoid a very awkward situation, like when only half of a pair of Siamese twins wants sex. I recommend seeking out a stranger to share your partner’s naughty bits with, rather than a friend. Knowing that you’re both attracted to a mutual friend would likely create jealousy both during and after the threesome. Unicorns are third parties (typically bisexual women) who are down to clown with established couples, and they roam free on standard dating apps like Tinder or threesome-specific apps like 3rder or Feeld. Of course, unicorn hunting on dating apps comes with all the typical fuckery of online dating. Potential partners may ghost you or be dishonest about their appearance. Some mismatches in compatibility can only be uncovered when meeting in-person — maybe her lack of hygiene makes you suspect you’d have to hold your nose while eating her pussy — so you’ll want to arrange a face-to-face meetup before Hump Day. 

Finally, have a conversation and come to some consensus about what your sexy human centipede will look like. Who will be the star of the show? What sex acts are out-of-bounds? Will the third party be invited to your post-cum cuddle session? Knowing what you both want going into it will help you set expectations, achieve your goals, and ensure the only surprises are salty ones.