This past weekend, a naked woman held up a subway train in Chicago, calling herself a "Train Goddess" and wrecking havoc on everyone's commute. Why wouldn't you want to live in Chicago?

We all know there was a god or goddess for everything in Greek mythology. But unfortunately, back then, there was no subway transportation system to ascribe a deity to. But, that all changed over the weekend in Chicago when a totally nude, self-proclaimed "Goddess of the Train" materialized in a subway station and began to wreck godly revenge on the people in it.

Perhaps they had not met their sacrificial subway-rat quota for that month. Perhaps not enough Red Bull and urine had been spilled on its holy ground to appease her. Either way, she was summoned from her heavenly throne down to earth to teach the people of Chicago a lesson. 

The naked Train Goddess jumped the turnstile, boarded Chicago's busy Red Line subway train, and slapped a bunch of fools on it. She then proceeded to make the announcement that she would be "taking over from here", and ordered all the passengers off, causing a 15-20 minute travel delay. All would have to bow down to her supreme authority, it seemed.

That is, until she was arrested and drug away by some police officers, butt-ass naked, thereby saving the subway passengers from her wrath.

She was subsequently taken to a nearby hospital for evaluation. Turns out she had some sort of mental illness, and was not a Train Goddess after all.  But she did give a few Chicagoans a great excuse for being late to work. Oh, Chicago. You so silly.