Every year, we as a species continue to disappoint whatever Gods we believe in while bringing monumental shame to our ancestors. 

Humanity does this through a variety of means. Some days, we burn little girls at the stake, or hoard billions of dollars of wealth. But sometimes, we adopt an alias such as “Dickasso” and make over $100,000 in pixelated dick pics sold as NFTs via an adult marketplace that uses a ridiculous cryptocurrency to fund its adult contend.

Dickasso has “sold 102 different NFTs of the male organ since October 29 for a total of 2.54 million CUMMIES,” reads an article from Stockhead.com, and in case our Grandma reads this, the answer is yes, we are still definitely gunning for that Pulitzer.

At .03 cents a CUMMIE, that’s roughly $83,500, which is more than enough money for you to really ponder how people get rich buying and selling money on the internet while you work an office job.

The sales of art took place through Cumrocket, which calls itself “The leading NSFW NFT marketplace.” 

For the record, in case you woke up this morning and wondered whether the future of NFTs and cryptocurrencies lied within pornography, the answer is yeah, totally.

From what we gathered, the Cumrocket marketplace is essentially an Onlyfans service that utilizes a cryptocurrency, except instead of calling it pornography, the website refers to these nudes as NFTs, and that means it’s art, and if you don’t like it, you’re uncultured swine.

Anyway, Dickasso has made ridiculous amount of money selling these pictures that are penises that look like they were drawn in MS Paint. His latest work, “Biggus Dickus” sold for the equivalent of $680, and that’s how much you make in a week.

Each penile picture has some flair added to it, and no two are the same. For instance, in the classic Dickasso work “The Pipe,” the penis in question is actually smoking a pipe! Isn’t that so crazy?

When last checked, Dickasso was the top creator on the Cumrocket NFT marketplace, superseding all other models on the platform. Then, our girlfriend walked in and wanted to know what we were doing, and accused us of looking at porn, and we were caught so off guard that we stammered out a quick response about working, but there’s no way in hell she’d believe that, and long story short, now we’re at the Holiday Inn, wishing we had 2.54 million Cummies from pixelated penile artwork.