Damn girl, did you just lick us through the computer screen?

The list of long things in this world is long. There's giraffe necks, the distance between LA and New York, the time since you've seen your father and now …  this girl's tongue.

This girl's name is Adrianne Lewis. She's 18, and she lives in Twin Lakes, Michigan. We don't know what her tongue's name is. It's a long-ass tongue, though.

Why are we showing you this? Because look at this tongue:

Daaaamn, Adrianne, did you just push your tongue up in to your ocular cavity? You did, didn't you.

Look at this tongue some more:

Good god, she can lick her elbow. You can't though. Because bones. We can lick your elbow for you, but you can't lick it yourself.

Adrianne's tongue can do a lot of things yours can't:

AAAAUUUGH! That's a long-ass tongue! It's long as hell! If we ever need to fish something out of the space between our car seat and center console, we'll call you! You are worth $1 million in lesbian money!

Good thing the Guinness Book of World Records is considering your submission, Adrianne, because all that press is just going to bring you one step closer to finding your dad, legendary KISS frontman and know labia-pleaser Gene Simmons.

… And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming of weed, sex, weed, music and weed and weedy sex music.