Last month, an open-air pop-up bar appeared in Denver, puzzling authorities and almost certainly proving our theory that with enough alcohol we could probably sleep literally anywhere.

 

The bar appeared on the northern edge of Denver, with police reporting that the location had received numerous complaints due to the watering hole impeding sidewalk access.

 

“The encampment featured displays of liquor bottles, numerous couches and lounge chairs, recliners and astroturf flooring,” reads an article from CBSNews.

 

Talk shit, sure. But that astroturf actually made the floor of this drinking establishment less sticky than 80% of Denver drinking establishments, which reminds us of the age-old adage our friend once gave us before they used ChatGPT to write their court-mandated apology letter: “It ain’t stupid if it works.”

 

Unfortunately, the bar left us with more questions than answers. We’d kill to find a new place to drink that didn’t feature a pumpkin-flavored hazy lactose barleywine on their taplist. Honestly, if they have Montucky Cold Snacks for less than $5 in Denver, it’s good enough for us no matter what the Denver Police say about its sidewalk.