Like, tens of thousands of dollars worth. Jesus.
During this week's edition of We're in the wrong line of work, we talk about how a few old people are gouging companies because they seem to understand the younger generation better than anyone else.
Large corporations are completely in the dark about how
real people millennials operate, so they're turning to "millennial experts" to figure it all out. One such 'expert' is Lisa McLeod, a 52-year-old who charges $25,000 per talk. For an added $5,000 she'll even bring her 23-year-old daughter along and parade her around like a museum exhibit. What a steal!
The occupation is such a cash grab, in fact, that companies like Goldman Sachs, Coca-Cola, Oracle and others spent between $60 million and $70 million last year to tackle the societal unicorns. Though, if they're all out there charging 20k a pop, it likely wasn't all that hard to start spending in the millions. But … what?
"There is somewhat of a disconnect between young people, their hopes, goals and expectations, and what companies think young people want,” 41-year-old millennial expert Lindsey Pollak tells Wall Street Journal. “I see my role as a translator.”
First of all, the fuck does that even mean? It's not like anyone under 35 is speaking an entirely different language, and if you feel like they are, you're just entirely out of touch and need to be grounded. This generation doesn't need 'translators' to get points across, everyone else just needs to open their fucking ears once in a while.
Admittedly, millennials are an interesting bunch. But, news flash, they're also people, too. Offering things like free food, movie outings (really?) and team-building activities — as the 'experts' suggest — as a way to keep these strange beings content, furthering production, is the silliest thing we've ever heard of. Isn't that just common sense?
So to recap, there are actual people in the world, right now, charging upwards of $25,000 a session, to tell large companies that giving people a decent working environment helps production. This isn't rocket science, and there's nothing to "figure out," it's just common decency and respect that should go both ways in a work situation.
Then again, that's a boat-load of cash for not doing much of anything. Where do we sign up?