There are two types of people in this world … hand jobs and Steve Jobs.

Thanks to our mobile devices, human beings are streaming porn everywhere, always. With more than 60 percent of Pornhub’s traffic coming from mobile devices, humans are masturbating at will all across the globe with abandon. With all this information floating around and Big Data curious to find out just what the kids are jerking off to these days, Pornhub conducted a little study to see whether people’s masturbation habits were affected by the type of phone they owned. And in this good ol’ fashioned Android vs. Apple showdown, it appears phone type matters. It matters a lot.

Pornhub examined the duration of visits to its site for both mobile platforms and ejaculated the following information onto our brains/eyes/sous.

According to Pornhub’s website, iPhone users may be the more time-efficient of the two: "iOS-based users get the job done faster," the reports says. "They tend to spend a mere eight minutes and 40 seconds on site when they visit Pornhub and tend to reach satisfaction after just 9.8 page views. There is also an argument to be made for lasting power, which is where Android users shine. They spend a leisurely average 10:06 per visit and peak out at 10.9 page views." Looks like Android users can masturbate for almost as long as takes to get relevant apps on their operating system (FOREVER!)

When it comes to less orthodox porn selections, iOS clients were strikingly more down for BDSM than vanilla Android users. Per the research, iOS users streamed 105 percent more bondage porn and 66 percent more fetish pages than Droid users, who’re all over here typing in “Necking” in the Pornhub search bar.

The five most popular search terms for Android users are:

1. Lesbian
2. Cartoon
3. Black
4. Teen
5. Step-mom

The five most popular search terms for iPhone and iPad users are:

1. Lesbian
2. Step-mom
3. Teen
4. Step-sister
5. MILF 

Apparently while both users have an odd predisposition to incest fantasies, iPhone users doubled-downed on keeping it in the family.

Android users overwhelmingly preferred ‘black’ and cartoon-themed content, meaning Marge Simpson getting pixel-plowed by Lexington Steele would apparently exemplify an Android user’s pinnacle of delight.

As for body size preference, Android users preferred full-figured women at a much higher rate with the ‘BBW’ category receiving 138 percent more page views than iPhone users.

There were also clearly different sexual preferences in terms of age. iOS users favored more mature women as illustrated by their likelihood in streaming ‘MILF’ and ‘mature’ categories 134 percent and 70 percent more than Android users, respectively.

Well the results are in and apparently there are more stereotypes to apply individually to iOS and Android users. On a positive note, maybe we as a species can learn tolerance and acceptance through our mutual chronic masturbating.