5th Annual “No Show” Exhibit at Bitfactory Gallery, 851 Santa Fe Drive

Every day through Feb. 11

It’s been a long time since art galleries were hosting… anything. But with things slowly opening back up, events like Bitfactory’s “No Show” exhibit are back on the menu! (Kind of.) The gallery will be featuring 17 up-and-coming local, national and international artists displaying a robust variety of genres — from hyper-realism to neo-expressionism. 

Indoor skydiving, iFLY, Denver

For those who want to get the sensation of skydiving without actually hurling themselves out of an airplane, iFLY indoor skydiving in Denver is the place to go. Dawn your flight-suit, leap into the “flight chamber” and experience liftoff. You’ll be blown away. 

Take Falconry Lessons

The art of falconry is almost as ancient as it is badass: you raise a falcon from chick-hood, teach it to hunt and then it kills small rodents and returns them to you. In Colorado there are a number of falconry clubs to join, like the Colorado Hawking Club, if you’re interested in learning how to train one of these bloodthirsty avian predators to do your bidding. 

Brewery of the Month: The Grateful Gnome

On the corner of 44th and Stuart Street in Denver’s Berkeley area, the Grateful Gnome is a local treasure. Part sandwich shop, part craft brewery, part bar and part Grateful Dead tribute show this place is a welcome neighborhood oddity — they gnome what’s up. 

“XMR Race”, Walden – Feb. 6

It isn’t every day you get the opportunity to watch vintage snowmobiles rip across frozen lakes in the high country. But that’s exactly what’s going down in Walden on the 6th. “Extreme Mountain Racing” organizes these events throughout Colorado, Wyoming and Montana — racers bring their own snow steeds (sign up on the XMR-racing website if you’re interested) and spectator entry is free. 

Skijor Meeker, Meeker – Feb. 19-21

Skijoring is a lot like water skiing except with snow instead of water and a horse instead of a boat. It’s a time-honored Norweigan winter sport that’s become something of a winter staple in rural towns throughout the Rocky Mountains. And for good reason: watching skiers get dragged down the street by cowboys on horseback is entertaining as hell.

Sloth Weekend, Denver Aquarium – Feb. 20-21

If you’ve been hankering for an opportunity to celebrate all things sloth, the Denver Aquarium has got you covered. They’ve dedicated an entire weekend in honor of nature’s slowest mammal. Stop by, check out their slothy-activities and meet the aquarium’s resident sloth: Aspen — who will be wearing a mask and social distancing, in compliance with state regulations.

Celestial Chaos – An Otherworldly Circus Adventure, Exdo Event Center, RiNo – Mar. 4

Circuses are a trip on their own, but Celestial Chaos takes the weirdness to another level. They’ve mashed the conventional acrobatic aspects of a circus, with a story from ancient Greece about gods, creators, planets and chaotic balance. Spectators are encouraged to dress in mythological/godly attire — and an edible or a hit of LSD probably wouldn’t hurt, either. 

Try Cannabis Sativa Lipgloss “For Couples”

This cannabis sativa infused lip-gloss moisturizes lips, offers a gentle local CBD buzz and, best of all, it’s designed with fellatio in mind. It’s the first cannabis-based foreplay lip-gloss —  “for couples.” Check out more sensual cannabis products in this month’s Rooster Labs. 

Taste Motherlode Hot Sauce 

Made in Longmont, Colorado

Motherlode Provisions’ Wildfire hot sauce will kick you in pants. It’s local, it’s all natural, and it’s not for the faint of heart. 

Donate in order to lower your taxes 

Everyone’s favorite time of year is approaching: Tax Season! Which means it’s time to do some closet cleaning and go donate to goodwill. You’ll be helping someone else and ensuring that you get a tax cut at the same time. 

Become a Twitter detective: Identify the FBI’s most wanted Trump supporters 

Calling all internet vigilantes! The FBI is seeking assistance in identifying some of those crazy fucks who assailed and infiltrated our nation’s capitol last month. If you’ve got some spare time and a good eye for faces, get on Twitter and get to sleuthing. They’re still looking for a handful of insurrectionists, a pipe bomb terrorist and some cop killers.

Learn about a new conspiracy theory

Did you know Michelle Obama was actually a trans-man? Or how about the FACT that Melania Trump died of COVID and has been replaced by a nicer body-double? Have you heard about the galactic federation’s base on the far side of the moon? Or the reptilian shapeshifters that have infiltrated politics and government at the highest levels? Don’t let Qanon give all conspiracies and conspiracy theorists a bad name. There are still some very compelling alt-ideas out there.