If you've ever worked in a restaurant, you know that the one thing keeping you from firey self destruction are tips. In the world of hurt that is the food service industry, tips make it all okay. Too bad more and more restaurants are banning the pracitice of tipping altogether so that they can pay employees a "living wage."

If you've ever worked in a restaurant, you know that the one thing keeping you from firey self destruction are tips. In the world of hurt that is the food service industry, tips make it all okay. Too bad more and more restaurants are banning the pracitice of tipping altogether so that they can pay employees a "living wage." 

Um … did you guys forget that tipping is what makes a living wage?

The trend is being spearheaded by Bar Marco, an uspscale Italian joint in Pittsburgh. And although at a place like that, servers could expect to make upwards of $100 in tips on a good night, they've gone ahead and eradicated that whole concept altogether.

Instead of getting tipped out, the restaurant's 16 full-time employees will be paid a base salary of $35,000, plus health care benefits and 500 shares of stock.

What!? Stock benefits? That better not mean chicken stock for the Creamy Chicken Soup special tonight or we're gonna be pissed.

That's insane, considering the average annual income of a server is $20,000. Sure, you can make $100,000 if you work at Morimoto in New York, but knowing you, you're probably the guy who people order wings from at Applebee's. Nevertheless, it seems like people are finally coming around to thinking of servers as people with real needs, not people you scream "Bacon, now!" at.

Restaurant co-owner Bobby Fry said they decided to murder tipping after him and his team researched how to implement healthcare for their employees.

"The light bulb went off,” Fry told the paper. “If we were going to offer health care, why not offer a complete employment contract and do away with gratuity altogether?”

Bar Marco won't have to increase menu prices to accommodate the change either, because in the the end, servers would be making around the same amount they did with tips; the net profit for the restaurant would be the same.

Fry said employees will be expected to work 40 to 44 hours a week and meet regularly to discuss the restaurant's budget and performance, which is a little Big Brother-y, but hey. who doesn't have a carbuncle they need insured medical attention for? Worth it.

So far  says the restaurant has received inquiries from more than 120 people seeking employment following their tip ban announcement.

Well, we think it's safe to say this changes everything. No longer shall your pockets brim conspicuously with $1 bills, nor shall you be the one proud bar denizen with the bartender points disapprovingly to a sign that reads, "Cash only, motherfuckers."

No more getting shafted on tips because your manager hates you, no more working your table with all the false sincerity of Vegas stripper just to wrest an extra $5 from their scaly hands.

And sure, you may have less dollar bills handy to snort drugs with or lose in fruitless bets, but the one thing you will have is 500 shares of stock you can use to invest in Rooster. Win, win, and win.