Ah, there's nothing like showing a jury who's deciding your fate your homemade porn in the morning. And that's exactly what Florida man Rogerio Scotton would like to do. He's currently representing himself in a multimillion dollar fraud case, and thinks that premiering his amateur sex tape with his wife in court would be a really great way to prove his innocence.

Ah, there's nothing like showing a jury who's deciding your fate your homemade porn in the morning.

And that's exactly what Florida man Rogerio Scotton would like to do. He's currently representing himself in a multimillion dollar fraud case, and thinks that premiering his amateur sex tape with his wife in court would be a really great way to prove his innocence.

The Brazilian-born businessman allegedly stole millions of dollars from DHL, FedEx and UPS by creating creating false accounts and fraudulently billing companies like Target and Walmart. But Rogerio would like to undermine the prosecution’s allegation that he lied about details of his marriage to a Cuban woman in order to get permanent resident status here. Rogerio said he has visible proof that the couple had a genuine marriage. Proof as in some porn that he'd really, really, really like everyone to see. Please. Just watch a little. Please?

What does mail fraud have to do with forcing 12 pairs of virgin eyes to watch him get a rim job? Your guess is as good as ours, but nevertheless, his bizarre request has been getting a lot of attention. His desire to show jurors visual depictions of the more intimate side of the couple’s relationship caused his judge to schedule a court hearing to view the footage and photos and decide if it would be legally appropriate.

“I don’t think that it would be fair to your wife,” the judge initially told Rogerio, explaining that she needs to ensure that he gets a fair trial without unnecessarily violating her privacy or introducing irrelevant matters. “Why is the privacy of my wife important at this point?” Rogerio asked the judge. “I’m facing jail time." Oh, to be in love.

We're not really sure how proving he had sex with his wife will get him off the hook, or whether he knows that he can just upload that thing to YouPorn if he wants everyone to see him having sex so badly, but either way, we're just glad we're not on jury duty this week.