Contrary to popular belief, Glenwood Springs is not just a stop to eat Qdoba along I70 as you race out to the desert in the fall. It’s got a McDonald’s too, as well as a whole bunch of fun shenanigans to offer anyone looking for a little fun or tomfoolery. Here’s your guide to a little Glenwood Springs weekend adventure.


Hike: Hanging Lake

If you’re not familiar with Hanging Lake, then congratulations! You somehow missed one of the ultimate examples of how social media’s geotagging feature can completely ruin Mother Nature.

Hanging Lake is a gorgeous little pristine pond outside of Glenwood Springs along I70. Miraculously, it didn’t meet a fiery doom during the intense wildfire in Glenwood Canyon a few years ago. However, it did get blown up on sites like Instagram to the point where the town and Forest Service had to implement a permit system to mitigate the damages being done by fuckfaces (or is it fuck faces… fuck-faces?) who didn’t follow the rules.

Due to the ecological circumstances of the lake, a few rules were implemented, such as not allowing dogs, no standing on the log that sits in the middle of the lake, and not allowing swimming in the pristine and clear waters.

Unfortunately, a lot of people suck, and it didn’t take too long before the town and forest service realized that Hanging Lake visitors didn’t give a single fuck. After so many social media posts revealed that people were still swimming in the lake and bringing their dogs, a permit system was put into place. 

This might actually be a good thing, because for $12, you can now enjoy an awesome hike and view without feeling like you’re going to have to start throwing elbows in a crowd that’s gathered on Black Friday.

Permits can be purchased here.


Novelty: Doc Holliday’s Grave

Maybe you didn’t watch as many westerns as we did growing up, and maybe you’ve actually played other video games besides Red Dead Redemption 2 in the last five years, but for anyone who ever pretended to be a cowboy figurehead growing up, Doc Holliday’s grave is probably worth visiting.

Doc Holliday was an American gambler, gunfighter, dentist, and complete and total badass. He earned a reputation as quite the gunslinger after the showdown at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, in which he and Wyatt Earp engaged in a shootout with the outlaws known as the Cochise County Cowboys.

We can only hope that, before Holliday shot those men, he verbalized some sentence about how “This town ain’t big enough for the two of us.”

He died in Glenwood Springs in his bed, which came as quite a shock to everyone including Holliday. The story goes that he asked for one last shot of whiskey before remarking, “This is funny,” and passing away, which we’re pretty sure is the most badass way one can die without holding a Colt Single Action Army revolver that you refer to as your “Peacemaker.”


Recreation: There’s a Fucking Theme Park on the Neighboring Mountain (Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park)

If you only ever drive through Glenwood, you wouldn’t know that they have an Elitch Gardens-equivalent up at the top of the hillside. Is it a total eyesore to see a gondola cutting up the pristine country side? Absolutely. But consider this as a counterpoint: they have fucking laser tag.

Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park may have everything that we ever wanted when we were little kids, but it especially has everything we’ve ever wanted at age 26. From the roller coaster, to the alpine slide, to the giant canyon swing, to the cave system and the zip lines, this place is full of good times to be had by all.

The park is scheduled to be open until the end of October, with tickets and more information being found here.

A $69 (nice) Summer Funday pass gets you access to almost everything the park has to offer, and while we’re well aware this is outside of many of our budgets, we’d like to offer you a counterpoint: they have fucking laser tag.


R&R: Glenwood Hot Springs

They don’t call it Glenwood Springs for nothing, and if you thought they called it that due to an abundance of coiled pieces of metal known for their ability to store energy, well honestly that’s pretty fucking weird of you.

Glenwood Hot Springs is one of the oldest hot springs in Colorado. Open since 1888, you could probably sit in the pool and pretend that you were Doc Holliday if you grew out your mustache long enough in advance.

In addition to being one of the oldest hot springs in the country, it also is allegedly the world’s largest hot springs pool, but we can’t necessarily prove that because the last time we visited we forgot to bring a tape measure.

Sure, the place has regular admission and lodging, but the resort also offers package deals for whitewater rafting or the Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park, so not only can you get two birds stoned at once here, but the relaxing and soothing mineral waters will really help to calm your girlfriend’s troubled mind after you force her to play laser tag all day.

More information on rates and booking can be found here.