White robes or yoga pants, what's the real difference?

There's no denying that anytime someone contorts their body into a pretzel and stays like that for three counts of healing meditative breath, they're in a cult. No way did they do that on their own; increased flexibility and blood flow can only be the result of intense legal religious coercion and like, soo much Kool-Aid.

Thank god Russian officials have realized this and launched a targeted crackdown on yoga as part of an effort to end activities associated with "religious cults."

As a result, at least two studios/cults of immorality in the central city of Nizhnevartovsk have reportedly been sent letters by local authorities asking them to stop teaching the evil stretchy practice in municipal buildings.

The letter reportedly urges them to “prevent the spread of new religious cults and movements" and calls out Hatha yoga for being “inextricably linked to religious practices.”

But, the actual yogis/illuminati conspirators aren't fazed.

"Everybody is scared and amused", Inga Pimenova, at teacher at one of the schools that was sent a letter, said to the Times.

Scared and confused? Sounds like cult brainwash to us! Here's to hoping Russia's able to exterminate the satanic practice from its icy land. Maybe while they're at it, they can ban running and drinking water too (because brainwashing your people into thinking yoga is dangerous then refusing to let them leave your country isn't culty at all! Nope!).

Meanwhile, this is somehow totally normal: