This year, you can really take their breath away. 

Tired of giving the same ol' crap to your life partner on V-Day? Well, now you've got a much more intimate option. Nothing says "I love you" more than a card with someone's paint-smeared shit-cutter on a card. And as a warning, the male version below might be a little unsettling. 

Why the hell didn't we think of this? This "Davis" character from Australia will probably make more money off this than we do all year. Creative jerk. 

“For a long time, it was just a joke. In my family everyone would give each other worse and worse cards every year. Some were highly inappropriate and others just had terrible puns,” Davis said. Eventually, Davis somehow got the notion that a huge display of his hind quarters — done “artistically” — would be a kick-ass way to make money. “We figured it could be something you’d send to a person you were mad at,” Davis said. But it took a lot of trial and error. “I had to squat on 10 pieces of paper to get the right print,” he said. “We spent 90 minutes experimenting with food dye and acrylic paint. Meanwhile, all my short hairs got covered in paint.”

And their slogan is pretty catchy too. 

Roses are pink, violets are blue, this features a sphinct, which delivers poo. I mean – NOTHING – says romance, quite like a love heart featuring a crack.

And if you're feeling cheap, they even have instructions to further personalize your card by doing it yourself.

When you're ready to order, you can check them out here.