What people really mean when they say it was "good to see you" or they're "happy that you're getting engaged" to that creature/ nice person.

What people really mean when they say it was "good to see you" or they're "happy that you're getting engaged" to that creature/ nice person.

 “Good to see you.”

Translation: "I wasn't expecting to see you here, and, uh, gotta go." This loving little expression of dismissal tries its hardest to disguise your shock at running into someone you weren't expecting to, while simultaneously giving off the impression that you're the sweet, caring person you totally aren't.

“We should grab coffee sometime."

Translation: "We haven't hung out in five years and I don't plan on starting now." Going to coffee is one of those ambiguous invitations that people extend because they know you'll never accept it. If someone really wanted to see you, they'd invite you to something specific, like a show or that cult meeting you didn't realize was a cult meeting until it was too late.

“I’m so happy for you."

Translation: "While you've been getting married and promoted, I've been getting drunk at Chili's and trying to think of a better handle for my Twitter account." You're not happy for them, you're just super high and don't know how to say "Suck it, successful bitch" without sounding salty.

“I'm good!"

Translation: "I cannot possibly relay to you what a shitstorm my life is in the span of our fleeting 30-second conversation." Enough said.

"My job is going really well."

Translation: "I just got promoted from stripper to stripper that serves wings." People would love to give you the illusion that they're job is going great, but we both know they've spent the last few days researching whether being a cam-girl will cut into their Xbox time or not.

"I could be single the rest of my life."

Translation: "I haven't been penetrated in ages." Whenever someone says they're happy being single forever, it's either because their crush is with someone else or because Tinder mercifully disabled their account to protect their users from the all-too-frequent sight of their genitalia.

"At least you're doing what you love."

Translation: "You're fucked." And no, dolphin trainer was not a good career choice.

"You look so cute in that!"

Translation: "What the fuck are you wearing?" When the first thing someone says to you is "you look cute," it's because whatever you're wearing has overwhelmed them to the point that they have to say something in order to comfortably continue on with their day.

"I'm so tired."

Translation: "Yeah, I have no idea what to say to you right now." Have you ever noticed how when there's a lull in the conversation, someone will say they're tired? That's just fuckery. They feel fine, they just can't talk English good.

"He was nice."

Translation: "He was the worst person I've ever met." Nice is not a quality. Nice is what you say about someone who had nothing else going for them, but you have to ascribe an adjective to them for conversation's sake. Saying someone's nice makes you seem nice yourself, but let's be honest, whoever you're talking to sucked harder than Monica Lewinski in the Oval Office.