For Sports Authority, purchasing the naming rights to Mile High Stadium wasn't enough to convince a country of overweight sports fans to pay exorbitant prices for Tiger Woods undergarments and Lebron James headbands. The company is capoot.
Sure, we always grouped the sports retailer with Arby’s and Radioshack as possible mafia fronts since stores were always empty yet somehow, someway, it stayed in business. But even the mafia can't continue paying the debt for a failing front. The company recently defaulted on it's $300 million loan and filed bankruptcy.
That was four months ago. Now, in the wake of the bankruptcy, executives for the company are looking to receive their incentive bonuses for executing an unbelievable display of running a company into the ground and laying off 14,000 employees.
One such "incentive" was to keep “shrinkage” down, or "to make sure that shoppers and employees didn’t run off with the merchandise during the 'going out of business' sales." In short, they think they should get $2.85 million for doing something the managers were trained to do.
Thankfully, today a judge told them to fuck off.
U.S. Bankruptcy Court judge Mary Walrath, the judge handling the Sports Authority case, became the corporate antithesis today when she ruled that four Sports Authority executives will not receive a combined $2.85 million in bonuses that the company claims are incentives.
It turns out, the unemployed workers never forgot about their dickhead bosses and wrote letters to the judge venting their frustrations toward the executives. And the judge listened.
“Quite frankly, I’m not surprised the employees are sending angry emails,” Walrath told the court during a hearing today. “I think it’s just inappropriate to pay senior executives bonuses when all the employees are losing their jobs.”
Come on Sports Authority executives, we all know that if you’re going to fuck the little guy, you should at least buy them a Lebron James headband first.
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