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Man pours bodily fluid into co-workers cup
A disgruntled worker at a dermatology office was arrested after twice placing semen in the water mug of his female co-worker which was caught on security camera and later discovered by the woman when she recognized a “unique taste and smell” with a white film on the water. The detective credited the woman’s photographic memory for the bust before asking for her phone number. 

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Parents hiring video game coaches to boost child’s social status
Worried about their kids’ social status due to their inability to play video games — in particular, Fortnite — parents have begun hiring teenage gamer coaches to help their kids successfully destroy all online opponents and any chance of a love life.   

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Woman tries to get out of DUI by saying she’s a ‘clean, thoroughbred, white girl’
A South Carolina Southern Belle opted to pull the status card when she was collared for speeding, driving under the influence, and pot possession, by telling police she was a “sorority girl, in national honors society, a dancer and a clean white girl.” The cops knew she was lying immediately as there’s no such thing as a clean sorority girl. Boom! 

graphic - mug shot - nun smuggling cocaine

Nun attempted to smuggle cocaine into U.S.
Denise Woodrum, 51, a Catholic Sister of the Adorers of the Blood of Christ in Kansas has been in Australian custody since she attempted to smuggle cocaine into the U.S. in her suitcase. When asked for comment on the incident, the Catholic Church breathed a sigh of relief to hear that it was only smuggling cocaine, and not, you know, hundreds of priests sexually abusing thousands of kids. 

graphic - Florida state

Masseuse Mi Suk Suk Bae busted for offering ‘Happy Ending’
Massage Therapist Mi Suk Suk Bae was arrested and charged with prostitution after offering an undercover police offer a Happy Ending following a massage at her parlor. Fellow therapists were extremely disappointed upon hearing the news since they’ve repeatedly told Bae to be more discreet with her name.