Lord of the Idiots…
Our monthly index on who and what Darwin missed.
Colorado Man holds two roofing salesman at gunpoint saying they’re Antifa
Eric Gudmundsen was arrested by police after he held two roofing salesmen at gunpoint outside his Colorado home claiming they were Antifa terrorists that needed to be confronted. According to an Antifa spokesperson, their new recruiting slogan is “Fix their roofs … then fix their mindsets!”
"… you got Kanye West, one of the most powerful humans—I’m not saying the most because you got a lot of alien-level superpowers."
Kanye West, speaking about Kanye West, quoted in a Forbes interview regarding his plan of action when he becomes POTUS. This show called life gets better by the day.
Library asks people to stop microwaving books to kill Coronavirus
Darwin missed a few and now a Michigan library is paying the price. The library had to issue a statement asking visitors to please stop microwaving library books to rid them of the coronavirus because it’s causing the “metal radio-frequency tags” to catch fire. Plus, isn’t it understood that even if you kill coronavirus, 5G will simply reapply coronavirus back onto the book? Duh.
The number of tweets and retweets posted by President Trump on June 5, breaking his record for the most tweets in one day including 74 tweets in one hour… what would your boss say if you tweeted 74 times in one hour?
ONLY IN AMERICA
Everyone’s favorite wascally wabbit is back and ready for action although this time around his arch nemesis Elmer Fudd will no longer brandish his trusty “wifle.” In the new remake of Looney Tunes on HBO Max, Elmer Fudd will replace his gun with a scythe (see: grim reaper). “We don’t do guns,” said showrunner Peter Browngardt while assuring fans there will be plenty of “cartoony violence” like anvils falling on heads. Sorry kids, you’ll have plenty of time for guns at age six when you get your first video game.
“for the love of god, please do not vote for my dad for state rep. tell everyone.”
A CU Boulder graduate, whose dad is running as a Michigan GOP candidate, is most likely kicked out of the will after she tweeted out “for the love of God, please do not vote for my dad for state rep. tell everyone.” Her father responded by telling voters her liberal college (CU Boulder) brainwashed his daughter with “Marxist Ideologies.” CU Boulder responded to the father's comment, "But you're still going to donate, right?"