Our monthly Index of who and what should have tried the Heaven's Gate kool aid

Our monthly Index of who and what should have tried the Heaven's Gate kool aid

Herd immunity — to logic — is actually working

CultureSeptember 03, 2020

Everyday in this amazing world of ours, people constantly defy the laws of common sense by what they say, do and have sex with. We decided to document some of the most aggressious forms of intellectual blasphemy and serve them up to you on a platter. Here are some of the stupidest things that happened or were spouted during August. 
 

Bed and Breakfast pulls down Norwegian flag after being accused of racism

The owners of the Nordic Pineapple Bed and Breakfast in Michigan removed the Norwegian flag flying outside their business after residents mistook the flag for the confederate flag and accused them of being racist. The two flags have the same colors but are distinctly different as Norway’s flag doesn’t have stars. Herd immunity — to logic — is actually working. 
 

“I’ve seen a side of society that’s … a little bit disturbing.” 

White House health adviser Anthony Fauci on the high number of death threats he and his family have received over his public health agenda, forcing the government to provide security detail for the doctor. Can we stop with death threats? They’re overplayed, empty, and costing taxpayers a lot of money. 
 

“The whole church has got it, just about.”

Pastor Daryl Ross of Warrior Creek Missionary Baptist Church in Alabama admitting most of his church is sick with Coronavirus after they hosted a multi-day revival event where masks were not required. Turns out evolution does exist and viruses evolve to infect humans.  
 

Naked man said he did mushrooms with Jesus 

Police in Kentucky were called to a potential home burglary only to arrive and find John Stefanopolous standing naked in the middle of the living room. When asked what he was doing, Stefanopolous told police he “had taken mushrooms with Jesus and that they were playing a virtual reality video game together.” John, this everyday at the Rooster office and Jesus seems to always win.  
 

80 

Percentage of Americans who believe the country is going in the wrong direction according to a poll from the Associated Press. In unrelated news, banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories every 45 minutes. 
 

Strip club in Houston sets up Drive-thru services

Don’t ever underestimate the entrepreneurial intellect of the American people even if they are from Texas. Vivid Gentleman’s Club in Houston took safety protocols into their own hands by setting up a drive-thru strip club complete with metal barriers and socially distanced dancers. With a two song limit, customer’s could enjoy their Wendy’s frosty with a side of adult entertainment and for that, we shouldn’t berate this in the stupidity index, but list it on Inc. 2000’s Most Innovative Companies right next to the banal hipster that juices carrots to save the penguins of Guadalajara.