Duck lips and beach legs are just a heavily-edited cry for help.

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has officially confirmed what many of us have thought for a while: taking selfies is a bonafide mental disorder.

They've even given in the laughably affable name "selfitis," which is defined as an "obsessive compulsive desire to take photos of one’s self and post them on social media as a way to make up for the lack of self-esteem and to fill a gap in intimacy."

Ooo, burn. That zinger's so fiery those duck lips look like Peking duck lips.

According to the APA, here are three levels of selfitis one can suffer from:

Borderline selfitis:

Taking photos of one’s self at least three times a day but not posting them on social media.

Acute selfitis:

Taking photos of one’s self at least three times a day and posting each of the photos on social media.

Chronic selfitis:

Uncontrollable urge to take photos of one’s self  round the clock and posting the photos on social media more than six times a day. COUGH Kim Kardashian.

Of course, the APA does have a long and comical history of categorizing relatively benign or non-pathological things as mental disorders (see: homosexuality, Aspberger's Syndrome) … so it's likely that in 20 years when our culture has been wholly consumed by duck lips, MySpace angles and selfie-stick carpal tunnel, people will come around and see that selfies are just a normal way to express one's crushing inner dissatisfaction with themselves! But until then … the good news is that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the kind of psych-help you need to deal with debilitating selfitis, is covered under Obamacare.

And now, for your personal enjoyment, here are four people who suffer from this heartbreaking disease … hopefully now you'll be able to recognize the symptoms.