1) Your Loved Ones Know Your Drunken Tells

Our girlfriend once told us “I know you’re absolutely loaded when you want to put concerts on the TV. You pick Skynyrd or Creed and then stare at the ceiling for the entirety of the video,” and to be fair, she’s completely 100 percent correct. Do you know how often our girlfriend had to witness that for it to become a known pattern? If your loved ones are mentioning things like, “Anytime you drink you end up fighting the waiter,” or “Anytime you drink you do ungodly amounts of cocaine and then get a little fruity with it,” you may have a drinking problem.

2) You Limit What You Buy at the Liquor Store

This one’s responsible, but that doesn’t really make it better. If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Man, if I only get a six pack, then I can’t drink 24 beers in one night,” well, we’ve got some bad news for you. It’s truly a sign of maturing and realizing you’re not in college anymore, but it’s not doing you any favors when you ask yourself whether you may have an issue with alcohol.

3) You Get Your Liver Enzymes Tested and They’re Perfect Thanks to Your Alcoholic Ancestors

If you’ve ever gone to the doctor in fear for your physical wellbeing after years of rotgut liquor consumption, and the doctor tells you that your liver is actually in great condition most likely due to the wide range of blood ancestors who came before you fortifying your genetics with generations upon generations of rotgut liquor consumption, you’ve probably got the ‘ism. Not to be confused with the ‘tism, “the ‘ism” is slang for alcoholism, and saying it can save you a whopping two syllables. The ‘tism is short for autism, and according to TikTok, we probably have that too.