Why would anyone want to boycott such a beautiful piece of circular bread cheese? Why would anyone do such a senseless thing? Who are these people with such feverish hate for beloved dietary staples? Well, in short, the people who figured out big name pizza chains like Dominos, Papa John's and Pizza Hut all use cheese from Leprino, a cheesemaker who's been at the forefront of a horrific animal abuse scandal recently.

Why would anyone want to boycott such a beautiful piece of circular bread cheese? Why would anyone do such a senseless thing? Who are these people with such a foreign, feverish hate for beloved dietary staples?

Well, in short, the people who figured out that big-name pizza chains like Domino's, Papa John's and Pizza Hut all use cheese from Leprino, a Denver-based cheese-maker who's been at the forefront of a horrific animal abuse scandal recently.

Specifically, those people would be Matt Rice and a handful of other Colorado animal rights activists. Matt is the director of investigations for Mercy For Animals, which filmed an undercover video of cattle abuse at a New Mexico farm that Leprino bought dairy to make their cheese from.

The video shows workers at the dairy punching and kicking cows, stabbing them with screwdrivers, whipping them with metal chains, dragging them behind tractors, and shocking their genitals with electric prods. Not exactly the kind of thing you picture when you drunk dial Domino's at 3 a.m. and ask for one of everything.

After the video surfaced last month, Leprino immediately ended their contract with that particular farm, but animal rights groups like Mercy for Animals want to see more concrete steps towards ending systematic animal suffering in farms.

"What we want to see is action," Matt said. "We want to see meaningful policies put into place … It's not a matter of a single factory farm failing to meet industry standards. It's the industry failing to address abuse."

The group is calling for a zero-abuse policy, third-party inspectors and improvements like adding non-slip floors to prevent cattle injuries. They're also asking for a ban on electric-shock devices an end to painful procedures often performed on cattle without anesthesia, like dehorning them or cutting off their tails.

So how'd we get from there to boycott country? Well, a Change.org petition surfaced after the video was released. Signed by 223,463 people as of Tuesday, it calls for a boycott of pizza makers who use Leprino's cheese unless changes are made. It's a big request, considering Leprino is the largest manufacturer of mozzarella in the world, and that Pizza Hut, Domino's and Papa John's are the biggest pizza chains in the world, respectively. So, if the boycott works, the worldwide pizza industry is expected to take a debilitating hit.

What does that mean for your weekend? Well, if ever there was an excuse to eat Tombstone Pizza or Totino's Pizza Rolls, then baby, this is it. As if you needed one in the first place.

Or, if you want to be even slicker about it and make sure you're eating pizza that's the least tainted with the scars of mass production, eat somewhere like Pizzeria Basta, Cart Driver, Pizzeria Locale, or Pizzeria Da Lupo. Sure, none of them are open still open at dawn to feed your early morning munchie cravings, but they tend to use local, organic, or otherwise deliciously snooty cheese.

Or, just say fuck it and get Bagel Bites. You know you were going to anyway.