6 Life Hacks to Make Procrastination Great Again

6 Life Hacks to Make Procrastination Great Again

CultureAugust 03, 2020

You're like the Bobby Flay of life except you can go in the sun.
 

Ice On hamburgers

Summer is in the air and that means it’s grilling season! Next time you’re concerned about keeping your burger meat moist, drop an ice cube on top of the burger patty as they start cooking. The extra moisture will seep into the meat, creating a perfect patty that will get your taste buds going crazier than Kanye West during lockdown. 

Orange Spice Deodorant 

Our resident wook discovered this citrus secret most likely after day four marinating in bodily fluids at Burning Man. Luckily for us, we don’t need to go to Burning Man to learn that orange peels are great for masking odors from food, clothes and people. Not so lucky for us, they don’t mask the storytelling of every person who went to Burning Man. 

Wrinkles Gone In Minutes

Clothes wrinkled and you’re rushing out the door to meet the Tinder date who you’ll ultimately have and hold, from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part? Great! First, if you want true love try a Rooster blind date; 63 percent of the time it works every time. Second, to remove the wrinkles, toss a couple ice cubes in the dryer and set for 10 minutes. Boom! Winkles are gone faster than your future lover. 

A Spoonful of sugar helps the pain go Down 

Burned your tongue again because you're an impatient bastard? For a quick remedy to a burned tongue and to get back out to eating and drinking extremely hot items, dissolve a spoonful of sugar on the top of your mouth. Oral sucrose has been proven to be an effective analgesic, or pain reliever for those who haven’t googled “analgesic.”  

Grandma knows best

Your grandma toting around her coinpurse every day actually wasn't out of her mind. Turns out, if you start saving a nickel on day one, then add a nickel to every subsequent deposit each day of the year (day ten you’re saving $.50, day 100 you’re saving $5 and on the last day you’re saving $18.40), by the end of the year, you’ll have saved $3,339.75. So sit back, pop a hard candy, and listen to your grandma, she knows what’s up.