It's Wednesday, so naturally, we wanted to remind you why you weather the frigid, depressing Colorado winters instead of relaxing on the beautiful, redneck-filled beaches of Florida. And that reason? Walmart. Case in point: this man who was assaulted in a Florida Walmart over exceeding the item limit in the express lane.

It's Wednesday, so naturally, we wanted to remind you why you weather the frigid, depressing Colorado winters instead of relaxing on the beautiful, redneck-filled beaches of Florida. And that reason? Walmart. Case in point: this man who was assaulted in a Florida Walmart over exceeding the item limit in the express lane. Apparently things got heated after the man behind him "shoved his elbow," causing a ruckus that is probably all too familiar in that particular corner of the world. Hilarity ensued, and we as we patted ourselves on the back for not living in Florida once again.