Cruise ships have received a bad rap over the past few years. Sure the floating dystopias are lathered with diseases as hoards of vacationers pack into tiny cabins where they gorge on endless buffets while being entertained by B-league magicians and parrot acts, but that doesn’t mean we can’t give cruises a second chance. Especially now that a Mexican adult hospitality firm is launching the first ever sex-themed 8-day cruise package dubbed the “Desire” cruise.
Guaranteed to bring more motion to the already tumultuous ocean, the Desire Cruise is part of the Royal Carribean Cruises’ newly renovated luxury line of boats. The eight-day voyage leaves from Italy and heads to Slovenia and Croatia, where you know things will get weird. During the vivacious voyage, the ship will be transformed into a smorgasbord of clothing-optional events, workshops and themed nights where you’re forced not only to keep an open-mind but also a spare toothbrush.
Enjoy plenty of time in the “mix-n-mingle” private playrooms or lounge on the clothing-optional areas of the ship like the pool deck but make sure you remember the rules.
First, keep noise levels to a minimum. We’re sure moaning and groaning pass code. Second, staff members are off limits. They’re touching your food and that’s not good for anyone on the ship, norovirus or not. Lastly, “no” means “no.” Doesn’t matter how many mai tais are flowing through your veins. And finally, our own personal rule, no sex after eating the Texas Chili buffet. Not once, never.
If you can manage to abide by the rules while keeping an open mind toward the middle of the ocean orgy then pull out your check book and start booking. Cruises start at $2,883 and can go up to $10,996 per person. The inaugural sailings begin in September 2017.
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