WTF is going on in Antarctica?!

WTF is going on in Antarctica?!

The mysteries swirling around our southernmost continent are as thick as its ice shelf—and that shit is shrinking.

CultureJanuary 12, 2022 By Juan Wilder

It’s a place made famous for its blisteringly cold storms, ice covered mountains, black oceans, polar bears, killer whales, and for being the only continent on Earth without any form of government whatsoever...

Antarctica has always sounded like an ideal place of residence. Who wouldn’t leap at the opportunity to explore such a desolate, unforgiving, lonely, cold and remote part of the planet? Who doesn’t dream of skiing literally everywhere? Who wouldn’t want to get that far away from society to live with penguins?

Sadly, not many people get the chance to do any of that. Thanks to the “Antarctic Treaty System” (est. 1959) neither you, nor I, nor any regular citizen are allowed to visit this continent. Not unless you’re on a nationally funded and approved scientific mission contained to a small research zone. Or, unless you go with a tourism group sequestered to a regionally uninteresting area. Either way: you have to have express personal permission from a higher authority—AKA The Man.

They can’t have people wandering around down there. It’s a “fragile ecosystem” they say; too many visitors “would compromise the fauna and natural landscape.” But we all know the truth. They’re hiding something down there—something big—continent-sized, even—something, that would probably derail the Illuminati’s master reset plan if it were revealed to the public.

We just have no idea what it is.

The lost civilization theory (Aliens)

There are plenty of legends about ancient civilizations, pre-dating our own, that were super-advanced and totally globalized. Atlantis, El Dorado, uhh… others. Who’s to say, in a far off distant past, long before modern recorded history, that Antarctica wasn’t a flourishing alien continent? Who’s to say that there weren’t massive cities, bizarre structures, and stories buried beneath the ice? ‘Well, Juan, there would probably be evidence of that,’ a skeptic might point out. To which I’d refer them to exhibit A: The face in the ice. Google search the quarinets 72°00'36.0"S 168°34'40.0"E and you’ll find a massive, ice-buried structure that looks like it could be possibly, potentially, in all likelihood, intentional. Or perhaps, exhibit B: “The Pyramid” at 78.3500° S, 163.4999° E. And with global warming, chances are, more structures just like these will start to emerge.

The breakaway civilization theory (Ice Nazis)

Towards the beginning of the second World War, a German warship set off from Europe on a secret mission to establish a Nazi whaling operation in Antarctica that would be called “New Swabia.” Which they did, widely exploring and charting swaths of the continent—and while conventional history will claim that they were eventually run out by angry Norwegians, the cold frozen truth is that they actually never left. According to some, those Nazi’s established their own breakaway civilization that lasted through the fall of Third Reich in Europe, and which moved into massive cavernous caves along the coast, to flourish technologically in secret. Where they’re still hiding out, biding their time, observing us with advanced flying surveillance tech until they will eventually rise up to start WWIV.

The hollow-Earth entrance theory (Inter-terrestrials)

Science might say differently, but there are rumors that Antarctica is actually the entrance to the inner world of our planet: the inside of the hollow Earth. It’s an old idea that goes back to ancient Greek and Tibetan folklore, but which has made a recent resurgence. According to some, hidden among the glaciers and craggy peaks is a cave that is really a tunnel into the underworld. What’s down there? I sure as hell couldn’t tell you, but people kick around words like “yeti,” “dragons,” “dwarves,” “aliens” or, my personal favorite, “Wim Hoffs” (yes, there’s more than one).

The Ice wall theory (Idiots)

While we’re on the subject of crazy shit, those who subscribe to the Flat Earth theory are convinced that Antarctica isn’t a continent at all. Instead, according to these exceedingly perceptive individuals, this southernmost landmass is actually the “Ice Wall” that hems in our entire world, and keeps the oceans from spilling over the side and off into space. How deep do they go? And why does it look like a roughly circular landmass from space? Because globes are a hoax, man. Wake up.

Elder God Theory (Chthulhu the Great One)

There may come a day, when the sky burns and the heavens descend to meet the Earth, when the mountains shake, seas spill, and the Antarctic ice splits apart as the Great One rises from his ancient slumber. And when that day comes you better hide yo wives, and hide yo kids, cuz’ Chthulhu has awoken and shit is about to hit the Elder God fan.