We have known for over two decades that while Wu-Tang Clan is many things, absent amongst those is being one with whom to fuck wit.
Yet when Wu-Tang Clan launched Wu-Tang Premium Liqueurs in 2017 — a line that includes a flavor called “C.R.E.A.M.” — folks the likes of Robbie Ettelson of Acclaim made such statements toward the brand as “a mouthful of Wu-Tang Clan Original ‘premium’ liqueur immediately inspires a lifetime of sobriety,” further observing “notes of nail polish remover mixed with paint thinner.” Evidently, via their liqueur, Wu-Tang Clan was officially fucked with, and surprisingly, Ettelson still lives to tell the tale.
However, with the impending release of Wu-Tang Clan Vodka on April 13 (a date that coincides with the group’s 25th anniversary), it appears RZA’s troop intends to regain their un-fuckable status.
The group announced recently that a Wu-inspired vodka will soon be an extension of its liqueur line — both of which will be available only in Australia via online retailer Dan Murphy’s.
With such bad press surrounding the past experience, will the new vodka be fucked with to the extent of the liqueur? Or shall it bring Richter-shattering ruckus to those croc-wrestlers down undah?
If anyone endeavors to the land down undah to try Wu-Tang Clan Vodka, we wish you the highest Shaolin blessings on your endeavor, that it may rock and sock your bowels and help you overcome the heartaches and pain of a land where cash rules everything around. And if this R. Ettelson’s prophecy bodes true, well, may you rest easy knowing late companion Ol’ Dirty Bastard undoubtedly consumed far worse during his tenure on this planet; and ODB is most certainly not one with whom to fuck.