Top-knots and man-buns are right up there with Charles Manson and SARS now.
Hey, you. Enjoying that weird blob of unwashed hair jutting out from the top of your skull? Yeah, your little top-knot man-bun thing? That's cute.
Enjoy it while it lasts, because you may not have it for long.
According to health specialists, the tension that top-buns put on on hair follicles is the cause a cause of a little thing called traction alopecia, which can lead to permanent hair loss.
In other words, your dumbass hairstyle is ripping all the hair out of your head and making you bald. Plus we can't see past it at concerts and in class, so … cut it off before it cuts off your sex appeal.
The top-bun condition causes acute, irreversible bald patches which are, how do you say, less than ideal for anyone who's not going for the deranged, "I ate too much Fukushima sushi and now I am a lifelong mutant" look.
Look! Here's some man-bun traction alopecia now!
Dermatologist Sabra Sullivan told Unilad that she sees this condition as often as once or twice a week.
"They’re putting traction on the hair follicles that the hair is not really meant to take," she said of the hair-murdering style. "Traction alopecia in men is becoming more common."
It's a much more severe concern for women, however, because it can also be caused by weaves, which pull out a shit load more hair than top-buns do. The most common cause of traction alopecia in women is weaves with poor braiding. So, if you've got two X chromosomes, you'll need slightly less therapy to deal with the death of your top-bun than you would if there's a penis attached to you.
Well, you know what they say: prevention is far better, faster and cheaper, than a cure, so take that shit down and let it fall naturally if you don't want a head so bald a bald eagle tries to mate with you for life, okay. Okay.
RIP, top-buns.
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