MEET THE DATERS

CHAD

Hometown: Aurora, Colo.
Age: 21
Current job: Student. Business. Finance and information analytics. 
Zodiac sign: Aires
Favorite color: Sky blue
Celebrity crush: Zendaya
Pets: No. I want a dog. Any kind.
First concert: 1975 and the Neighborhood my freshman year of high school. 
Most recent concert: Brittany Howard from Alabama Shakes
What’s your type: Fun, open minded, chill.
Deal breakers: Someone who can’t laugh at themselves. 
My friends would describe me as: Easy to talk to, optimistic, and funny …  I think?
Guilty pleasure: Every so often I’ll go through a phase where I’ll play Pokémon for hours at end. 
—–

EMILY

Hometown: Phoenix, Ariz.
Age: 21
Current job: I work at a daycare.
Zodiac sign: Libra
Favorite color: Blue
Celebrity crush: Shia LaBeouf
Pets: No. I want dogs, cats and a parrot.
First concert: Kelly Clarkson
Most recent concert: Tash Sultana. It’s like indie rock.
What’s your type: Someone who’s quiet, shy and a little mysterious, but really funny once you get to know them. 
Deal breakers: I don’t like arrogant or unambitious people.
My friends would describe me as: Crazy, exciting and intuitive. 
Guilty pleasure: Chocolate at night.
—–

THE LOCATION
Oskar Blues
921 Pearl St., Boulder, Colo. 80302

ROUND ONE
So here we sit, at one of Colorado’s finest watering holes, Oskar Blues Tap Room, drinking heavy winter beers like it was our job (it kind of is). As the daters show up we notice one thing and one thing only: yep, they’d make beautiful children. Too soon? Maybe let’s get the introductions out of the way first …

Describe your dating life in three words:
E: Confusing. Please help.
C: Basically doesn’t exist.   

Where do you usually meet potential partners?
E: I don’t know. It’s not like any specific location. Probably at a party or a concert though.
C: At parties, through friends, online. Apps like Hinge and Tinder. 

What’s your pickup strategy?
E: [laughs] Look at them for a long time at the bar until they notice me. And then bat my eyelashes all flirty until they come over. That’s an exaggeration …
C: Be myself? That’s why I go back to my ‘basically doesn’t exist.’

What were you thinking before your Rooster Blind Date?
E: Oh God, is this a mistake? And I’m excited for free food.
C: I was thinking, I hope it’s not awkward. 

Did your friends give you any advice before the date?
E: Don’t overthink it. Which is my favorite thing to do.
C: They said go in for the hug and not a handshake, but that was met with a little bit of awkwardness. Emily went for a handshake.

What are you looking for in a partner?
E: Someone who is as adventurous as me and someone who continues to surprise me, but also is sure of themselves and stable. Also, ambition! Ambition baby!
C: Someone to hang out with. Someone who is on the same wavelength as me and someone who likes to do fun things.  

What does your ideal date look like?
E: An amusement park. I just want someone to take me somewhere that gets my adrenaline up and gets me out of my comfort zone.
C: We get on a plane. We land in Paris, France. We spend a day seeing all the sites and eating all the food. Then we fly back that night. I’ve been to Paris and I didn’t really like it, so I don’t know why I said it but it sounds romantic.

How are the first impressions?
E: He’s very, very kind. Very kind. He speaks very quickly. But I like that.
C: Pretty good. I thought she was really pretty and has great vibes.

Are you attracted to your date?
E: Physically yes, but there is not exactly any specific spark. It’s more of a friendly thing I think. 
C: Yeah, definitely. I think she’s pretty. I think she’s pretty spontaneous and fun. I think she’s just my type. 

ROUND TWO
She hasn’t run out the door and he hasn’t thrown up under the table. By Rooster standards that’s the beginning of an exceptionally romantic evening — John Hughes ain’t got nothing on this date. After downing plates of nachos, pizzas and random tomatoes, the two get settled for more questions.

How’s it going overall?
E: I’m having fun. I’m having a good time. He’s funny and the conversation is nice.
C: Pretty great! I’m having a good time. We’re talking about lots of random things.

What are you two talking about?
E: Family, the place of offensive comedy in the world … and old moms.
C: Birth charts, families, jokes. I told her one of my deal breakers was if she voted for Trump and she didn’t so the coasts are clear.  

When was your last relationship?
E: My last relationship? Oh God let’s think about this one. See, I thought my last relationship was a relationship, but it was just confusing more or less.
C: Never. I had a girlfriend in 7th grade and I got her a gift on Valentine’s Day and she didn’t get me one and it was all downhill from there.

What’s something interesting that your date has shared with you about themselves?
E: His father is a pilot.
C: She just moved here three months ago. She made a major life change to move here and I think it’s cool that she had the spontaneity to change her life.

On a scale of 0-5 how’s the chemistry?
E: I feel like we have best friend chemistry. So, like five for best friend chemistry.
C: 5… 4.9?I don’t want to seem like a fool if she says like a 2. I feel like there’s great chemistry. But maybe it’s the awesome selection of beers available at Oskar Blues Tap Room that’s encouraging the chemistry.  

How was dinner?  What did you get?
E: Dinner was great. The beer is nice. They have a very strong beer and we ordered some of it.  And it feels good in my stomach and in my soul.
C: It was really good. I’m not bummed that I went all veggie. I got some tots on the side which were delicious as well.

Is Oskar Blues a good spot for a date?
E: Yeah. But don’t bring vegans here.
C: Definitely!  

Would you go on another date with each other?
E: Yeah sure. Why not? Why not?!
C: Yeah. We’re talking about getting our psychic readings done and that would be a fun, interesting date.  

Where do you want the rest of the night to go?
E: I want a back massage, but like not specifically from him, just in general. So, wherever that leads me.
C: It’s a Monday night. I have a quiz tomorrow. So, it would be fun to hang out until we have to go home.

ROUND THREE
Dating would be so much easier if the concept of ‘friends’ never existed. Like, ‘Hey you down to forever? (DTF?) Sure!’ and then happily ever after. Unfortunately, shit’s complicated. Because of that, we had to wait a night after we left the daters to see if anything golden worked out.

What happened after Rooster left?
E: We went to a few other bars and broke some foosball machines by accident.
C: We went to another couple bars and played some foosball. Then we both walked home.

Did Rooster find a match?
E: Rooster found something?
C: Who knows …

Was there a goodbye kiss?
E: There was not a goodbye kiss.
C: No goodbye kiss, just a hug, then we exchanged phone numbers.

How about a second date?
E: We are getting our fortunes read on Thursday.
C: You know, I’m going to text her right now! 

Overall, how was it?
E: It was a lot of fun overall, I had a great time.
C: It was a really fun experience. I had a great time, and I hope she did too. 

Do you have any advice for future Blind Daters?
E: Order fried pickles they are hot.
C: Don’t be afraid to take a risk!

Do you have any regrets from last night?
E: No regrets from last night.
C: Well, I woke up pretty hungover.

What’s next in your dating life?
E: Not sure what’s next in my dating life but isn’t that the exciting part?!
C: I think I’ll just see what happens.

Is there anything you want to end with?
E: Definitely go on a Rooster Blind Date it’ll spice up your Monday!
C: Thank you so much for a fun night! 

CONCLUSION
Now there’s an idea: Spicy Monday. It’ll be a magazine delivered at the beginning of each week with cover to cover memes and nothing else. Investors welcome. As far as Emily and Chad’s date went, however, it wasn’t terrible. Success! These two may have found love but are taking it nice and easy to see if it gets there. Non-instant gratification, who knew that still existed. We wish them luck, yours could be next!