What would it be like if we talked to humans the way we baby-talk to dogs?

Even though dog is man's best friend, we still talk to our canine companions as if they're fat little cartoon infants … which makes us think, what would it be like if we talked to humans the way we baby-talk to dogs?

1. "Do you have to poop? Make a little poopie? Are you full of poopie?"

2. "Who's a big hungry girl?"

3. "You're my snuggly little fur muffin, yes you are!"

4. "Did you seriously shit on the floor again?"

5. "Woof! Rawrrrrr … woof! Ha ha, I'm just trying to speak Dog to you."

6. "Hey, dude … fetch!"

7. "I'm going to neuter you today."

8. "Roll over and I'll give you a treat, baby."

9. "You're so cute I could just unhinge my jaw and swallow you whole!"

10. "Bro, you need to stop humping me."