There are more than a couple of things men should never, ever say to women. Here's 23 of them …

Men are known for a lot of things (Lacking a uterus! Killing spiders! Being named Gary!), but save for the Rooster staff and whoever “Sexy Tim” is, they aren’t exactly known for linguistic suavity when it comes to talking to the opposite sex. However, all is forgiven, because we’re here to give you Y-chromosome beings some guidance on how to talk to women.

Or, in this case … more like how not to talk to them. Here are but a few things you should never let escape your oral cavity:

1. “Your boobs are like taut melons.”

2. “So do you like Mumford and Sons?”

3. “You remind me so much of my ex.”

4. “You look so much better without makeup.”

5. “Wellbutrin makes my dick soft.”

6. “Be a stripper for me.”

7. “You have child-bearing hips.”

8. “You’re so soft. like a pillow.”

9. “I golf to de-stress. Just handling those balls makes me feel like a man.”

10. “Are you done getting ready yet?”

11. “I’m pretty comfortable farting in front of you. It’s like you’re smelling my true self.”

12. “Wow … The house is super dirty right now.”

13. “You don’t have to get all emotional, she’s my ex for a reason!”

14. “You didn’t HAVE to give him your number.”

15. “You look tired. Does someone need a nappy?”

16. “Why are you acting crazy? You’re just like your mom.”

17. “You’re funny for a girl.”

18. “Did you come yet?”

19. “Let me kiss her (referring to her vagina).”

20. “Whiskey is a man’s drink.”

21. “Wait, you’re a woman but you don’t want kids?”

22. “You smell like my mom.”

23. “Surprise! I came in you.”