Sure, you could book yourself a $1000 plane ticket to Mother Russia, but you'd be wasting your money. That's because this post is so chock-full of examples of life in Russia, that you don't even need to step foot on the frozen, vodka-soaked tundra to understand that you should really only go there if you're drunk Frankenstein or an escaped circus bear.

Sure, you could book yourself a $1000 plane ticket to Mother Russia, but you'd be wasting your money. That's because this post is so chock-full of examples of life in Russia, that you don't even need to step foot on the frozen, vodka-soaked tundra to understand that you should really only go there if you're drunk Frankenstein, have an amputee fetish, or  are an escaped circus bear.

Please click 'play' on the following song to enhance your experience.