There are over 1.3 million identified non-inspect species living on earth today, which can mean only one thing: unless you're the all-knowing omnipotent creator that designed them, you don't know most of them exist. But, since we care about your mental expansion, we made this list for you of the 27 most bizarre, adorable, rare and straight-up gross animals that secretly share the planet with you.

There are over 1.3 million identified non-inspect species living on earth today, which can mean only one thing: unless you're the all-knowing omnipotent creator that designed them, you don't know most of them exist. But, since we care about your mental expansion, we made this list for you of the 27 most bizarre, adorable, rare and straight-up gross animals that secretly share the planet with you.

1. Pink Fairy Armadillo

Lives in: Sandy places in Argentina

Special talent: Smallest armadillo species, being soft and tough at the same time with its half-hair, half-shell thing it's got going on.

2. Aye Aye

Lives in: Madagascar

Special talent: Has a really long, politically incorrect middle finger it uses to scoop ants out of holes.

3. Blue Parrot Fish

Lives in: Shallow water and coral reefs around the Atlantic and Carribean

Special talent: Massive, creepy pharyngeal teeth they use to grind rocks into sand, because that's what the ocean needs; more sand.

4. Chevrotain Mouse Deer

Lives in: Southeast Asia and West Africa

Special talent: It's fucking tiny.

5. Gerenuk

Lives in: Horn of Africa

Special talent: Just look at it, man.

6. Giant Isopod

Lives in: Cold, deep waters of most major oceans, aka right under your cruise ship.

Special talent: Can go for five years without eating. We can't even go five minutes.

7. Goblin Shark

Lives in: Continental slopes, submarine canyons and sea slopes of most oceans.

Special talent: Haunting you. Also very rare and has no use for humans.

8. Maned Wolf

Lives in: Brazil-ish. Some other South American countries too.

Special talent: Being tall as hell. It's an adaptation to the grasslands where it lives. It can never wear heels around you, only flats.

9. Narwhal

Lives in: Arctic waters around Russia, Greenland and Canada

Special talent: Giant face tooth it uses to show off sexually. The bigger the tooth, the higher-ranking the narwhal is. Just like with human penises, except 22 pounds and razor sharp.

10. Numbat

Lives in: Western Australia.

Special talent: Nothing, it's useless.

11. Okapi

Lives in: Central Africa.

Special talent: Being half giraffe, half zebra. Has a tongue long enough to wash its own eyelids and ears with, so …

12. Pacu Fish

Lives in: South American freshwater.

Special talent: Having teeth that look exactly like yours.

13. Penis Snake

Lives in: Brazil

Special talent: Has no eyes (like a penis), lacks lungs (like a penis), breathes through its skin (um).

14. Poodle Moth

Lives in: Venezuela

Special talent: Putting up with your shit:

15. Proboscis Monkey

Lives in: Borneo

Special talent: Sexually dimorphic. Kinky.

16. Red Panda

Lives in: China

Special talent: Being criminally adorable.

17. Babirusa

Lives in: Indonesia

Special talent: A bunch of extra horns so you can never kiss it squarelyy between the eyes.

19. Blobfish

Lives in: Off the coast of Australia and Tasmania

Special talent: Super low-density flesh that allows it to float using no energy, but that also makes it look fucking crazy when you pull it out of the water.

20. Sea Pig

Lives in: Abyssal plains in most major oceans

Special talent: Being the only sea cucumber with locomotive legs.

21. Blue Dragon

Lives in: Everywhere there's warm water

Special talent: Being really cool looking and also eating venomous eggs from things that will sting you.

22. Silky Anteater

Lives in: Central and South America.

Special talent: Really small and soft. That's pretty much it.

23. Spiny Orb Weaver Spider

Lives in: Most of the states in the United States, including Colorado.

Special talent: Has a shell that makes you really not want to eat it.

24. Potto

Lives in: West and Central Africa

Special talent: Has a vestigal pointer finger on its hands, meaning it used to have a pointer finger, but thousands of years of evolution cut it off.

25. Red Lipped Batfish

Lives in: The Galapagos

Special talent: You're lookin' at it. The use their lips to lure prey, much like our ex-girlfriend.

26. Tufted Deer

Lives in: China and Myanmar.

Special talent: Having vampire fangs they use for fighting during mating season.

27. Wooly Sheep Pig

Lives in: Europe.

Special talent: Being fucking cozy.