Beer fetching robots, real world simulators and an automatic lawnmower — it's like consumer heaven!

Oculus Rift / Nimble Sense = $700

Do you ever want to lay on your couch all day, smoke weed and eat Cool Ranch Doritos while still maintaining the image that you’re a functioning member of society? If so, Oculus Rift and Nimble Sense might be exactly the ticket to that reality. Oculus Rift is the first full-blown, 3-D virtual reality system that allows users to dive head first into an entirely new world — without leaving the ass-groove of a well-worn couch. Just strap on the headset and you could be interacting with other humans who are just as lazy as you are. Combine Oculus Rift with the hand tracking Nimble Sense and you can manipulate objects in the virtual world. Imagine smoking virtual weed and eating virtual Doritos … while your smoking weed and eating Doritos? Trippyyyy man. 

Roomba Lawn Mower = $TBA

Lets be real, no one with a true sense of time enjoys mowing lawns. You might pretend to like it just to seem “manly” or “self-sufficient” — or whatever — but when it comes down to it, no one looks forward to pushing a 50-pound machine outside in the blistering sun. To quell this 1st world problem, the company that brought everyone the automatic vaccuum, Roomba, have plans to take its carpet-cleaning robot outside. Imagine never being tasked to go outside and take care of your own lawproperty ever again. Although Roomba admits it will take a few years for their lawnmower to hit the blades, we couldn't be more excited for its realese. Besides, the company is probably taking the extra time to make sure the mowers don't mistakenly identify the neighbor's child as in over-grown blade of grass and start chasing the trespassing toddlers down the street. Either way, it means less work for us.

Beer Pouring, Cookie Making Robot = $400,000

Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone bring you cold beers all day long? Our girlfriends rightfully cite misogyny when told to fetch and our roommates who are lazier than us get pissed after being asked thrice — but as far as we know robots don’t have feelings and are always down to bring out a beer. This robot, designed by Willow Garage, not only retrieves a fresh one, but it also bakes cookies and pancakes! Can you imagine that in your mind right now? A robot that brings you beer and  warm cookies — it sounds like something out of a goddamned science fiction novel written by goddamned Tommy Chong. But don't be fooled, this robot is incapable of love, so it might be more like you than you think.

Fast and Light-Weight Electric Longboard = $899

Are you too lazy to walk to the store, but too stoned to take your skateboard? Then fear not, because Stary has a new electronic longboard that sets itself apart from the competition. Not only does this baby weigh less than most skateboards, but it's also fast as hell. It has thrills for everyone, with speeds ranging from a relaxing 7mph to a heart-pounding 20mph (for anyone who hasn't been on skateboard, 20mph is pretty damn fast). And those speeds are just how fast you can push it on flat ground, imagine bombing a hill if you're already going 20mph before you reach it? We just hope the price of this board includes some type of insurance policy, but then again, if you're rich enough to buy it, you can probably afford a couple hospital bills.