Austin's South by Southwest festival has a lot of really amazing music, comedy, art and technology events … but it also has some really weird, completely unnecessary ones that we kind of can't believe are allowed to exist amongst the general greatness of the other SXSW acts. So obviously, we chronicled them for you because you deserve to know things.

Austin's South by Southwest festival has a lot of really amazing music, comedy, art and technology events … but it also has some really weird, completely unnecessary ones that we kind of can't believe are allowed to exist amongst the general greatness of the other SXSW acts. So obviously, we chronicled them for you because you deserve to know things.

1. Wearables & Beyond with Shaq

Yes, Shaq as in former rapper (and basketball dude) Shaquille O'Neal. He gave a talk about wearable social media devices like Google Glass last Sunday, revealing how activity trackers keep him fit and how he spent over $1,000 in iPhone apps in one day. Whoa there, big guy!

Let's be honest here though. Unless he's a genie in Kazaam, or standing next to a midget to prove how big he is, we don't necessarily care what he has to say about wearable social media technology or how it keeps his two-ton figure in shape. Now if he was spinning a basketball on one finger while solving a mystery like his Southland detective character, that would be a hilarious, different story.

2. Real-Life Mario Kart

The creators of this event must have failed to realize that NASCAR is real-life Mario Kart, and so is our morning commute. Unneccessary to the max.

3. Game of Thrones: The Exhibition

So, here's what went down at the Game of Thrones exhibit: a bunch of fully-formed adults played with "props, costumes, and weaponry from the show." Some of these lucky duck grown-ass men and women also had the "opportunity" to sit on the Iron Throne, or ascend the Wall in a virtual reality experience. Was there also a medieval nap room and a place for their parents to pick them up? We just hoped they rehearsed their chair-sitting poses before hand.

Incredibly, this Game of Thrones publicity stunt still comes up short on our "Grievously Unncessecary Scale," losing its place to the Game of Thrones rap soundtrack.

4. Fight Your Friends

Nothing says "I am man, hear me roar" like fighting your sworn enemy from the comfort of a metal-barricaded machine that does the work for you. You don't want to mess up your manicure, do you? This life-size version of the “rock- em sock-em robots" lets you climb inside machines and use the controls to punch your opponent until their metal head pops up. If you’re having trouble visualizing this, don't, because we've got footage:

5. Animal Planet's Cats Live Here Party

Do you love cats, but aren't sure if everyone knows how much you love cats? Is that troublesome to you? Well, that's weird but you can prove your allegience to the feline race at Animal Planet's Cats Live Here party. There, you can enjoy cat-themed cocktails (Hairball margaritas? Litter-and-tonics?) while you watch cat videos and the latest season of My Cat From Hell. And no, you can't use the old "I can't go, I have to feed my kitties" excuse with this crowd.