Alien abduction encounters involve a lot of weird sexual things; and exactly what happens with each experience is different for each person. Many of them go far deeper than the average butt-probing phenomenon made famous by a few little assholes from South Park.

For some, sex with aliens is the best thing they've ever experienced. While others just get an awkward handjob trying not to make eye contact. Either way, there's a strange sexual spectrum to alien abductions as proven by the following encounters.

David Huggins – Virginity Lost

Born in rural Georgia, David Huggins always thought his first time having sex would be in the “backseat of a Ford.” But it was actually with an alien, in the middle of a field, in rural Georgia. Or so he claims.

Surprisingly, after this first time of his, sex with aliens became an on-again, off-again affair. Huggins even claims to have hundreds of alien children up there in space, stating it as fact like it's the most normal thing in the world (or beyond).

What's best, Huggins has even started painting his encounters — and you can buy them on the Internet for Earth dollars if you so choose.

Meng Zhaoguo – Levitating Midgets

This humble Chinese lumberjack says he was sleeping in his cabin when his body levitated and a 3-foot tall alien woman climbed on top of him for 40 minutes. Similarly to Huggins, Zhaoguo claims these aliens used him to help reproduce their race, and that his children would be populating a planet in a galaxy far, far away.

Pamela Stonebrook – Reptilian Romps

Working in Los Angeles as a jazz singer, Pamela Stonebrook’s erotic experiences began with a human who later shape-shifted into his full reptilian form. The experience appears to have been awesome, at least according to Stonebrook and the book she wrote about it.

“It was almost like every cell in your body was having an orgasm,” she said of the encounter. "All of a sudden, the energy felt totally different. It felt aggressive, and the entity felt bigger — bigger than the person who was inside me."

She also claims to have around 4 alien children who ran up to her in a spaceship one time calling her mommy. "They were very frail like the greys," she said. "But they had wispy hair, almost like chemotherapy hair. They ran over to me and grabbed my arms and started calling me Mommy. I lost it.”

Elizabeth Klarer – The Wingman

Elizabeth Klarer, of South Africa, claims to have had an experience that was far more polite than average. She even knows the name of her lover, Akon, who has a friend named Sheron.

These two were out on Earth for scientific reasons in the mid-1950s when Akon told her, “We rarely mate with Earth women. When we do, we keep the offspring to strengthen our race and infuse new blood" — which we imagine might be what he tells all of his Earthling booty calls.

According to Klarer, Sharon discretely went to collect plant samples while Akon and her made private alien love aboard his flying saucer.

Antonio Vilas-Boas – Drapes & Curtains

Initially trying to escape aliens on his tractor, Antonio Vilas-Boas was allegedly abducted and used for alien mating. According to his story, the aliens were barking at each other before locking Vilas-Boas in a room alone with only a bed.

Later, gas filled his room causing him to throw up in the corner. A woman then entered the room to make sweet hot sex, her pubic and arm pit hair a bright red. In place of kissing him, she liked to bite Vilas-Boas on the chin.

“I began to get excited,” he explained of the encounter. “I ended up forgetting everything and held the woman close to me, corresponding to her favors with greater ones of my own.”

After the two finished, she pointed at her belly, then into space, and disappeared.

Vilas-Boas claims he was eventually kicked off the spaceship for trying to steal a clock as a souvenir. Naturally.

[cover photo by Rhett Wesley on Unsplash // originally published February 19, 2018]