Throughout my time spent with the opposite sex, I can successfully conclude that every woman has a bit of Courtney Love circa ’92-craziness inside of them.
It’s been well documented that men and women will never see eye-to-eye on certain things in life. I grew up in a household with a loving mother & close sister, have had long term girlfriends and an array of female bosses but throughout my time spent with the opposite sex, I can successfully conclude that every woman has a bit of Courtney Love circa ’92-craziness inside of them.
I hate to come off as a misogynistic douche bag because us males have innate genetically-engineered DNA (and penis’) that somehow always make us overly attracted to these estrogen filled females. But even so, there are still things that they say that downright drive us nuts.
Here are the six things that still make men go crazy: To make this interesting, I'm going to give an example conversation for how each scenario plays out in the girls mind and then the man’s mind. This should be fun:
1) Hacking their hair short
Girls Perspective: "Ugh, I'm so sick of dealing with my long hair. I've had it long my whole life and now I want to cut it into something easy, edgy, unique and fun! That's it. I'm chopping off all my hair!"
Guys Perspective: "You’re doing WHAT with your hair?!?! Look, I'm not trying to date Jamie Lee Curtis… Why are YOU getting upset over this conversation?? I'm the one who has to find a new girlfriend now."
2) Order excessive amounts of food at a restaurant and then consume 10% of it
Girls Perspective: "I'm hungry! I haven't eaten all day. Let's get an app! Oh.My.Goddd! They have fajitas! I loveeeee Mexican! Everything on that dessert cart looks AMAZING! Can we also get dessert?!?"
Guys Perspective: "$15, $30, $50… plus drinks and my burger, and that's a $100 tab for a Tuesday night. Fuck. Well, I busted my ass all day at work to pay for a mediocre dinner. Hopefully, she leaves the leftover box in my fridge so I can at least eat half this shit I paid for."
3) Retiring once they have kids
Girls Perspective: "You know what, honey? After I give birth, I'm going to take a few years off to be with my children. After that, I just want a career that allows me the flexibility to be with my babies."
Guys Perspective: "Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to work solo for the next 30 years to pay for your lunch dates and yoga classes so that you can maybe think about working part time later on in life? What’s in it for me?"
4) Excessively going on and then off diets
Girls Perspective: "That cabbage soup diet I tried last year didn't work. I can't believe I wasted my time and money on that. This year I'm going to try a juice cleanse and if that doesn't work, I'll just go Paleo."
Guys Perspective: "You know what diet ALWAYS works?? A steady diet of hitting the treadmill a few times a week and not indulging in ice cream every night. Also, quit spending hours looking at food recipes on Pinterest every week. That’s like a recovering sexaholic spending all day looking at porn.”
5) Knowing NOTHING about sports despite attending many games
Girls Perspective: "So how many strikes does he get until he ‘strikes out?’ Is it two?"
Guys Perspective: "Think about this… imagine if I watched the Bachelor every week for 3 years and then asked 'so, what does getting a rose mean?'"
6) Trusting advice from magazines
Girls Perspective: “I read in Cosmo that wearing condoms makes woman less attracted to their male counterparts”
Guys Perspective: "Yeah? Well what makes a man less attractive to their female counterparts is when they take magazine advice from a 21 year old intern at Vogue and act like it's a Harvard study."