Do we believe they have an h-bomb? No. Because unicorns don't exist …

The world is abuzz right now following reports that North Korea may have successfully tested its first hydrogen bomb last night. Which, given North Korea’s overall military capability, is comparable to a person with no limbs training to be a professional MMA fighter. If the claim proves to be true, North Korea would be just the 6th country in the world with access to h-bombs.

So, are we all doomed to burn in Kim Jun Un’s nuclear hellfire? Probably not. Let us remind you who we are dealing with here:

North Korea Proves the Existence of Unicorns

North Korea claims one of their kings used to ride unicorns like a swagged out Genghis Khan. Their proof: finding a big ass rock near a temple with the words “unicorn lair” engraved on it.

In North Korea, Long Hair Makes You Dumb

The oppressive country made a TV show about proper grooming standards once, in which it claimed having long hair makes people dumb, because long hair deprives the brain of vital nutrients. Which is a very passive aggressive way of saying they think Fabio is an idiot (he's not, he's a kind gentleman and a brilliant scholar!). People caught with long hair in public in North Korea are subject to having it cut on the spot.

The First Dictator of North Korea Created Earth

To varying extents, North Koreans have been led to believe that Kim Il-Sung — creator of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea — invented planet earth when he descended from heaven. Which would make the planet a spry 70-years-old as of 2016. Now that Il-Sung is dead, he is a god and can control the weather with his moods, amongst other things.

Jeans Are Illegal in North Korea

North Koreans aren’t allowed to wear jeans, because they symbolize the fascism of the United States. However, it’s totally cool if you’re Dennis Rodman — because he and the supreme leader are boys.

Authorities in North Korea Actually Watched "The Interview"

In 2014, when the James Franco / Seth Rogen-led film "The Interview" was about to be released — a "comedy" that depicts the assassination of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un — the country attempted to retaliate with threats and an alleged Sony e-mail hack. They couldn't have known what the movie contained unless they, unlike everyone in America, actually watched it.

North Korea Has an Official Department of Propaganda

Propaganda is arguably the one thing North Korea can successfully produce on its own better than anyone else. So, it comes as no surprise the country has had an official department of propaganda for decades. The department works on coming up with fun, new myths about the supreme leader, like we imagine the marketing team at Crayola comes up with names for crayon colors.