He's a metal head. Period.

If you're still sitting around arguing with strangers about that dead gorilla, you're about a week behind the mob, which in Internet speak probably means you're old as shit and can't do anything right anymore. 

But 82-year-old John Hetlinger of Broomfield, Colorado, doesn't give a fuck about age, or how out of popularity he might be with his Kohl's bought threads. Because he's going to karaoke the hell out of a 15-year-old song with his pleated shorts on whether you like it or not.


There's more to the old man than meets the eye, however. Sure, he's a former Navy pilot who worked on the Hubble Telescope at one point or another, but he also loves metal. Kind of.

His rise to Internet infamy, by way of that horrendous show America's Got Talent, started at the Glenn in Northglenn as a joke. He continued practicing, honing a new set of skills damn near a century after his birth, and is now a viral meme giving everyone a few minutes of enjoyment during a period in the world where nothing seems to make sense anymore.

But the joy doesn't have to end there. Here he is mowing down White Zombie's "Dragula":


Thank you Mr. Hetlinger, for your service, your charisma, and showing us that belting out Linkin Park 60 years from now at a wedding is not only acceptable, it might make us a few bucks and solidify our legacy to boot …