The children are quite literally our (dystopian) future.
You don't have to be a politician to be president, so why would you need descended balls to run a campaign office?
You don't!
That's why Weston Imer, a literal 12-year-old tween, is currently heading up Donald Trump's Jefferson County campaign office. He's taken a break from his busy schedule of going through puberty to influence the course of our country.
As we speak, he's currently serving as the office's co-chairman because his mother, who originally held his position, submitted the bulk of her work to him as a way to "teach him responsibility."
Specifically, his responsibilities include coordinating daily activities, organizing volunteers, securing Trump votes, condescending people seven times his age who work for him, and altering the course of American history.
All this would be diabolically adorable if said 12-year-old was manning a campaign office in a small district in say, conservative Louisiana, where Trump votes are guaranteed.
Not so in Weston's frontier outpost for Trumpy.
Jefferson County is one of the most populous counties in Colorado, which is a crucial swing state in the upcoming presidential election. Last election, 53 percent of residents there voted Republican for Mitt Romney, a smallish margin that demonstrates how divided, and therefore important, the county is. So … how this kid runs his little play office might actually matter.
We can picture his office's HR rule book right now: No girls allowed! Cubicle walls must be tall enough to not be scalable by Mexicans!
About now, you might be getting all defensive. You might be thinking, "Don't make fun of this kid, he's only 12!"
Well guess what? It's hilarious that a child is running an important political campaign office. It's also hilarious that Donald Trump, another person with zero political experience, is running for president. Clearly, politics are a joke to some people, so forgive us for LOL-ing all the way home when the punch line is too good to keep a straight face.
Also, if this large baby is "mature" enough to think that his limited world view and life experience qualify him to influence the lives of millions of people whose situations and needs he doesn't understand, then he's "mature" enough to get thrown into the political fray. Clearly, he thinks he's just like everyone else, so we're going to treat him that way. Sometimes that means getting roasted.
That being said, he probably still knows much more about politics than Trump does, so …
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