What could be better than a pizza surrounded by mini hotdogs? Probably anything.

Pizza Hut announced earlier this month that its international, stomach-wrecking, pork-fueled pizza would be hitting the American streets on July 18.

Pizza Hut has spent nearly eight years perfecting their latest creation, and it’s been anything but easy getting this Frankenstein pie suitable for the sophisticated American palette. Tireless nights and alcohol-induced psychedelic experiences were likely the primary driving force that pushed this super food into existence.

The food engineers at Pizza Hut have worked day in and day out to combine the sex idol that is pizza with the simple, blue-collar workingman that is the hotdog. However, before this pizza could be released to the American public, it needed a test drive, and Pizza Hut thought there were no better pizza-grease-covered guinea pigs than Koreans.              



That’s right — for the past few years, Pizza Hut has been serving up its hotdog-halo pizza to the fine people of South Korea. However, the Asian version of the hotdog pizza doesn't hold a candle to the American one. These early prototypes feature less hotdogs (probably a good thing) and look more like a flowering pizza than a culinary monstrosity. However, Pizza Hut was kind enough to reserve their massive 28-hotdog pizza for only the finest people in the world: Americans.

In their current state of economic distress, Pizza Hut believes that the American launch of their newest creation will be exactly what they need to turn their company around so they can continue to ruin the intestinal tracts of many fine human beings.

However, it is unfair to think that Pizzas Hut’s newest creation will fail here on the American streets. After all, Americans are well known for their enjoyment of oddly combined foods — like the sushi burger or deep-fried anything, and with marijuana becoming legal in more states every year there is bound to be a few daring stoners who are willing to dive bong-first into this new Frankenstein food.

As for us here at Rooster, we’ll probably just order a large version of this hotdog pizza and make our intern eat it all in one sitting — all in the name of journalism, of course.